To: K-list
Recieved: 2004/11/14 22:34
Subject: [K-list] process
From: Diamondsutra
On 2004/11/14 22:34, Diamondsutra posted thus to the K-list:
Hello Steve:
I can say that I have often over these 13 years that I've had kundalini
experienced what you are dealing with now. For the first 4 years it wasn't
possible for me to do even the most menial tasks. I had to have home-makers
come in and sweep, vacuum and cook and shop and do laundry for me. Because
kundalini had put me on disability, these services were, blessedly
provided. In the fifth year, after coming out of hospital, because my
physical body had practically shut down and was dying, I began to eat meat,
after having been a vegetarian for about 20 years and on mostly raw foods
diet for the most recent 7 of those.
I have to say that eating meat regularly (roast goose, duck, lamb, pork and
yes even beef...but mostly goose and duck) started bringing a new strength to
my body. Also I just accepted that I could not do anything physical so
surrendered to that, even if it meant death. (that's how I ended up in
hospital, I guess..though k left me no choices). I'm not advising here, just
sharing.
In subsequent years there have been periods where I have been able to do
more intermixed with periods where I can't do anything. I just have to
accept it as it comes. I find if I overdo it when I feel stronger (and this
could be a period of hours or months) then that will be followed by a period
of extreme weakness and vulnerability and fragility and crying, etc. etc.
I can't say how long it lasts or anything definite about the purpose of it,-
--the physical inabilities that is, other than, for me it has been about
total surrender, even unto death. Although, death has not actually come and--
--I'm still here.
I've had to and still have to be willing to change at any moment. I have
to listen to k and endeavor to "know" what it wants. Sometimes its
dietary....eat more meat...eat less meat...eat more green veggies..sometimes
its something else. God knows. I don't know. That seems to be the biggest
truth.
I send this in the service of love and hope it is of some help.
love and blessings, Deesutra
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