To: K-list
Recieved: 2004/11/05 19:42
Subject: [K-list] mental disorders/energy/divine connection...
From: Kate
On 2004/11/05 19:42, Kate posted thus to the K-list:
okay, i am going to try to explain some of what i think, which will be hard
considering i am typing with my non-dominant hand...heh...my dog is a bit
overzealous...
this is an even more interesting topic following my satori experience last
Sat.
i believe that mental disease, especially bipolar/schizophrenia (i dont know
enough about adhd to say but bipolar runs in my family and my nephew was
diagnosed adhd) are "symptoms" of an "integrated" and "always open"
connection with the divine - like spontaneous k awakening. Where as most
people find their connection and improve it over their lives, people with
these "problems" had it integrated at the point of coming into existence.
Now, that is not to say that they are "better" - absolutely not - people who
looked for the connection often have a much better sense of what it is and
what to do with it than those of us, who like me, at 8 started going "what
the hell is wrong with me?" and got no good answer. You can be a musical
prodigy and never practice and that kid who does practice is going to get
technically better than you. That is just reality.
Some people I know who are into questioning reality, etc. think that these
disorders are not real, but diagnosed to cover up and weed out these
intuitive connections/genius thing that these people have. I know that is
BS - I graduated school and went to college at 16, am a very proficient and
emotive classical violinist/vocalist/musician, was a national merit scholar,
mensa, whatever...but that was only one side of the coin. The disease part
is the bad side that comes with any good, so that you can truly appreciate
and learn to use it properly/enjoy it/master it. I have had people tell me I
am out of balance or I have not done X so I am not well. I have had people
tell me that I should stop taking my meds and try to fix myself, that i am
the problem, that I can do it without them. The meds do nothing more than
ALLOW me to cut through the static in my brain and make the right
decisions. They allow me to hear the truth amidst the bullshit. They change
nothing. The funniest thing to me right now is that I can go to some
spiritual healer who doesn't know what I go through and they will say that
my psych is wrong, and I could go to my psych and say "I felt things and saw
my ceiling turn blue sat night" and she would commit me. Most people have no
concept that the truth is in the middle somewhere - for all of us.
I am not sure that everyone's disease is this way - this "side effect" of
innate connection/being immediately awakened/ability to tap in full time...I
have known a LOT of people that this seems to hold true for. I had a girl at
a support group once ask me "how do I KNOW the messages from god are not
real?" about her "delusions". I told her that there is no way to tell for
sure. And there isn't. How do you tell the difference between Joe crazy hobo
on the side of the road giving you a message from god, and the dudes who
wrote the bible because they "heard god"? You can't. That is not an
accident, I don't think. I think some people, like myself, put effort into
figuring it out and using it for positive things and surrender with
knowledge, and we are rewarded with more awareness (and more
responsibility), then there are those that surrender without understanding,
like our buddy Joe crazy hobo, and then those who fight it and think it is
going to go away with the right pill combo and a trip to the therapist once
a week. Those people seem to be the most miserable, because they never see
that they will not fit the mold - because there is no mold to fit.
I think things are much alike for anyone who awakens in any way...it is just
strange, from personal experience, for the proverbial cart to go before the
horse, so to speak. there is still a cart and a horse...just a different
picture and a different method of making it work.
wow okay...i feel like i am rambling. :) i am usually a very well spoken
person and i think between sat night, the energy that has been in my house
recently due to other things, my wrist being busted, etc, that i am not
necessarily doing too well with it today. i hope somebody understands what i
am saying - and i would be happy to share more with anyone later when i can
type an email in under 4 hours...heehee...
love,
Kate
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