To: K-list
Recieved: 2004/09/27 19:56
Subject: [K-list] Full Moon?
From: Earth Angel
On 2004/09/27 19:56, Earth Angel posted thus to the K-list:
Things just boiled over in my soul last night...
I'm about as far down under as I've ever been I have long since gotten
over allowing depression to take over my thoughts and body and
yet...
I see no way out of this. I just don't...nothing ever stays the same and yet
my life never changes.
I've asked the universe to provide a way out for me...as it knows that I
don't seem to have what
it takes to leave this situation I've been in for so many years.
It's killing me with loneliness to live with someone and yet not 'live'.
The 'need' is gone...but I still have to have something for sustaining my
inner desire for life.
I've asked to be taken and allowed to die...since there doesn't seem to be
another way out of it that I can actually provide in my own head at this
time.
I know there is a greater plan that I cannot see the whole picture, but
I'm so tired of the patience game. How much patience does one have to learn
?
...maybe it is the full moon effects and then it will be peaceful again.
But it's so ungodly quiet here inside me I wonder if I've been forgotten by
even him.
I've prayed I've pleaded, I've smudged, to no avail this morning...I've
meditated.
and yet no light comes to stay today.
And then I read something that was written and sent awhile back
" YOU can be no less than who you are... and that is how it should be...it
hurts some times but here is so much beauty in who you are and you can't
help but share it and shine it with all around. Thee is always both good
and bad and in the end look back and find you lived it the way you could and
should and smile and be happy for there are things happenin in your life
that you never dare dream about, tak the time to see the love ou share and
be happy with the outcome for you are a very rare and special figt to the
world be you and let the rest fall where it will (smile) just walk in and
share your love and let it flow and let it be its is good."
Who is interested in this light I have and to what end?
Not sure I can do this anymore..
Isn't surrender enough, or am I missing something?
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