To: K-list
Recieved: 2004/09/22 21:14
Subject: [K-list] I really don't know anything at all
From: Lyndon Garvey
On 2004/09/22 21:14, Lyndon Garvey posted thus to the K-list:
Why does the mind have such a hard time with ambiguity? Why does the mind
have to make meaning and judge and try to understand anything an everything?
Why can't the mind ever comfortably arrive at the conclusion of "i just
don't know." "I have theories, but in truth, I really have no idea what is
going on"
Maybe because this spells death to the mind? Maybe this is what kunalini
release is all about, learning to deal with ambiguity and hence bypassing
the mind!? Or maybe I'm just making more mind judgements here.. it's a
brain twister of immense proportions... or is that just another false
judgement.. and on and on .. ad infinitum.
I have tried my best to avoid *all* literature on kundalini, or chakras or
energy, etc. yet things are happening to me. My body appears to be moving
by itself, it appears as though my body and brain are evolving in certain
ways, but really I can't be sure whether this is true, or just another mind
projection. I just don't know what is happening to me, except that
something IS happening!
WHY does the mind feel such a need to control this process, to try and
distill it into a technique or some kind of fixed procedure? Why do we need
to make assumptions about meaning of experiences? "the third eye chakra is
open, now you will have psychic visions" "the heart chakra is open now you
will feel X, Y, Z" "kundalini is an energy that moves from the X chakra ..
"
I had an interesting experience just the other day. I was lying on my bed
meditating and I felt this energy well up inside of me (I use the term
"energy" but really I don't know what it is. All I can say is it is a
sensation that I am aware of, and my body appears to move by itself and do
things that i'm not consciously in control of) then i felt the energy move
to my stomach or solar plexus area and my stomach started cramping badly.
I've listened to what my grandad said about the spirit being connected to
the body at the solar plexus by a chord of some kind. As I experienced this
cramping I suddenly realised (or so I thought) that my spirit was indeed
connected to my body at the solar plexus and was ready to detach. So I
endured the cramping for several move minutes expecting to experience an
out of body experience at any moment. But this never came. All I really
got from this was very sore stomach muscles. However, after awhile I
decided to let go of that idea and just go with the flow. Then as the
tension started to build in my stomach muslces I didn't resist, and I found
I quite automatically drew in a deep breath and felt the energy move upwards
to my chest area. A few seconds later and I felt as though I was in
absolute bliss. If I'd been so attached to the idea of this experience
being my spirit detaching from me, then I probably wouldn't have listened to
my body telling me that it wanted to take a deep breath.
I can go on and on about all my evidence to support this argument, but I
just don't feel there's any point. I don't know. I don't know about
anything anymore -- but I'm happy for once! If I appear to be talking shit,
please let me know, and of course why you think this is so.
Best Regards,
L
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