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To: K-list
Recieved: 2004/09/03 09:24
Subject: [K-list] RE: its weird
From: J.1 G.


On 2004/09/03 09:24, J.1 G. posted thus to the K-list:

imagine slipping into someone heart, like the dreams you used to have? i'll
have one for you if you forget?? everything's really free. we just dont
really know what we want, and sometimes we dont know how to go about getting
what we need. its easy to imagine the pillowy energy of dreams floating into
your life, its easy to see your self in someone else's heart. dreams can
heal everything. show you the truth you need to see to excape modern life?

its funny when people come over after trying to steal a large amount of
beer, and then they try to sleep on your couch, and when you bring it up,
they act like they never had any intent. and you kind of feel bad cause
you've been like that before. but by the look on their face it at least
sEEMs like they weren't up against the other side of their own innocence?

this morning TOO MUCH sexual energy spewed forth and, yes it felt good?? but
too much sexual energy always seems to effect my -well, what do you want me
to sayy/?? organ in a strange way? the veins about the brim become a new
color?? like they've been through a little too much??

i suspect this means that maybe the penis is very sencitive, of corse, and
maybe the energy, or the feeling of that might be a little harsh for such a
sencitive area.....but what about the feeling of my crown chakra + my brain?
  you'd think, maybe we cant see it, but the vessels in my head around my
crown are probably a different color too?? maybe its all in my head, and
i'm just slightly punishing myself so i wont get too caught up in the sexual
energy.. or maybe focusing too much on the sensations of the spiritual body
isn't the way to do it?? if anything maybe, you're supposed to just be
aware of the spiritual body, rather than feel the energy in your
physical..or maybe you shouldn't touch the energy at all??

why does everyone honestly great die so soon in their life? or face some
worthless disease? i kind of think i'm like that sometimes, but more so,
just to be okay?? i'm lost in my point of view? maybe i'm still caught up
in how i'm looking at things. and maybe those people died cause of alternate
reasons, and some part of me just wants to know whhyyy? and some part of me
wants to be that way, without being that way, but i have to be like this?
slowly fixing myself. repairing the things destroyed, unsure of what i want?
  unable to touch anyone, or make love. too many problems to solve to make
it worth having sex? too many things to get over, or connect to? or realize?

the other side is, they showed me the easy way? justseeyourselfconnecting to
the whole the one of what you are doing now and always. as you play guitar
you can kind of see your self connecting to pure understanding, and awesome
appreciation?? or wile looking at someone you can realize in both you and
them at the same time how your third eye can just OPEN! just like that?? the
energy exciting and opening and opening..?? i have to go :[




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