To: K-list
Recieved: 2004/08/24 19:57
Subject: [K-list] Lighten Up Musings
From: mara lynn

I cannot seem to find my ego today

I know I thought I left it in the same place

I always put it before I go to sleep

Where I can at least for a while be responsibly unconscious.

Maybe the over rambunctious puppy got to it

Mistaking it for a peanut butter bone

Savoring it while I dreamed

Or I picked it up with the laundry this morning

And it dissolved in the washing machine.

Or it´s sitting in the smelly trash now by the garage door

covered with flies. I don´t want to go there to peek inside.

I know I should go searching

But I cannot seem to get motivated to DO that

There‘s no seeker left to seek in this space between the do and the be.


So, I think I´ll just sit a while longer

Watching the earth breathe

feeling the sun´s warmth tingling against the top of my head

watching the sky embracing fondly the crowded grove of ancient trees

where birds/insects and fairies? sing mantras to the dancing breeze

I´m sure I needed to be somewhere doing something by now

Defending, creating, destroying something for someone or myself

I can´t seem to remember where or what

It doesn‘t seem important anymore

look at how the light sparkles in the breeze

That was the ego‘s game.

Another leaving, a going, a break

another failed relationship.

Yet strangely I feel no sadness or pain

Just an emptiness, a nothing

Something needs to end to begin.

we could never quite make this relationship work anyhow

Like the much discussed dysfunctional relationship

Always at odds

the Ego, and the I.

I´m sure it´ll show up somewhere

It always does, even with all its grandiose pretensions
It never could stay away.
(I´ll let you in on a secret, I know it needs me but I would never admit to needing it of course)

Maybe the dog will remember.

She likes to be told what to do

And Ego is good at that.

In the meantime,

I´ll just sit a while longer

And breathe.

                  
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