To: K-list
Recieved: 2004/06/28 22:22
Subject: RE: [K-list] Re: K-list Digest, Vol 12, Issue 13
From: J.1 G.
On 2004/06/28 22:22, J.1 G. posted thus to the K-list:
it has taken me away from passion of life and i
>am distanced by this information about reality that i am interested in.
i suffer in that way too-its no good to be so totally consumed by
something-spiritually there are so many ways to enjoy your self, or
experience your self, so many things to discover...focusing on the world
around you, rather than your self could help much with balance..loving and
appreciating colors is a good way to step outside of your self. i suggest
looking and noticing things differently-simple things..like how oddly shaped
your printer/fax is..milk jugs can be amazing, if you were to really notice,
and realize their shape.
..also, don't try to over do your own meditations. i had created a lot of
silliness in my life due to me wanting to experience more, more creativity,
more understanding, more this, more that. let that go. you already have
everything you need..furthermore, to really make any changes with your
self..you really have to make a life habit out of..what ever it is that you
are shooting for..for example..when someone first connects to creativity, it
can very much be like a child first reading a book..here you are, with
little to no experience with something, trying to understand it, trying to
realize all of its parts, it really takes a few years to make any kind of
major change..that is unless you've had plenty of experiance..anyway..
i have become really exceedingly horrible at having sex. all of
>this
don't label your self that way..think about it, if you label your self as
something, you walk around in a state of mind where you are telling your
self "i am a bad lover"...every moment you spend telling your self, your
believing your self to be a bad lover is like a meditation-its very much
like meditating-you're putting your energy, or your thoughts, and your body
motions into telling your self, or your spiritual body that you are closed
to something...on top of that, this negative thought could effect
everything-the way you set your coffee cup down for example..
if i were in your shoes, i'd ask myself-am i simply going through a phase?
is kundalini likely to simply turn everything all upside down again? is this
the way that the energy has led me?
it seems like your spiritual desires have consumed you to a point where
other desires don't really seem possible. in this way, it seems as if you
might just try and rid your self of these desires. wanting seems like a
childish thing almost, instead of wanting, try to train your self
differently. anytime any kind of unhealthy want or desire comes up-meaning
any kind of want that makes you too unhappy just cause you dont have it..try
talking to your self, meaning your mind, your body, and your soul
...maybe say "why do i want that? why do i want to be controlled by my
desires? what good will that do for my life? why don't i just let that
silly want go, and realize that life is already providing, already giving..i
already have all of my chakras, i already am connected to source, perhaps
what ever it is i'm trying to find in my self i already am.."
i tend to talk to myself like this a lot sometimes, its a matter of pulling
your self away from your bad habits, even the littlest ones sometimes...its
also a matter of realizing how much how you look at your self effects
you...and its also a matter of taking responsibility for the way that you
are being. you are being in a state where you have disconnected your self
from sexual knowledge in exchange for spiritual, and further more you don't
sound like you are all that happy about it.
have you ever experienced a state of euphoria? or any small fraction of
enlightenment? experiencing these kinds of states randomly, and accidentally
kind of tells me that i, us, and we, are all connected, completely connected
to our energy bodies, and that enlightenment is simply a state of being. in
that kind of a way, currently you are in a being in a way that doesn't quite
link up with how you'd really like to be.
so from this we can gather a few deductions-you want to be different, you
want to experience your spiritual body, you want to experience someone else
sexualy in a way that you are satisfied with...and probably in a way that
they are satisfied with too..try to let go of allllll of these wants. just
breath deeply, and let 'em go. don't push them away, just..simply let them
go, its okay if they come back..but you might want to clear out the bulk of
them..go ahead and see your self as letting go of these issues with wants
and desires. get rid of this stuff first. its all these wants and desires
that are making you unhappy...these wants are getting in the way of you
seeing your self..instead of seeing your self, you seem to judge your self
maybe? and sadness can be a positive thing yanno...but if you are in a
place where these issues are actually causing a negative emotion, you are
putting this negative emotional energy into all of your life..and this
negative emotional energy will effect how you react to things, how you see
your self, how sunny the skys seem, which movies you watch, how you feel
about other people..ect ect
get away from what you think you want, and what you think you need, and let
all goo goo gooo, and then try to figure out if you really want or desire
anything at all. figure that out, then go deep into mediation, and in this
state find a nice positive, healthy way for your self to tell your body,
mind and soul, that yes, you CAN be a good lover, go ahead and be a little
sarcastic even, and realize that it ain't very hard, and just cause things
aren't perfect, that doesn't mean that you gotta look down on your self..you
start looking down on your self..you start to think of your self as a bad
lover..you start to see your self as a bad lover...you start to have no
hope. you see?
>i hope that maybe someone can help me with this problem , with a kundalini
>method , extraterrestrial , from the heart , anything. i'm a 'freak' and
>have so
>much fear inside from all of life and what has happened to me through this
>tingling.
>
>hoping to hear anything,
>Patrick
fear can be a good thing, it opens you up...you might start to question
things, and you might to start to think things like "oh no! something "bad"
might happen..maybe i've been judged by the eyes of god!" gosh no...all yer
really doing is realizing that something spiritual might be going on, and
you can't figure out if its good, or bad..and its scary because its new..but
always keep in mind, there's nothing to worry about..
..this just might be another good meditation, that is if you can keep it up
long enough to make it stick? meditate on being worryless...everything is
already taken care of, there is no cause for concern, just let go of all the
problems, the wants, the desires, the needs, the reason you have to suffer,
and try to simply allow your self be worryless...allow your self to be sooo
worryless, take an hour, take all day...allow your self to slowly slowly
become sooo worryless...soooo worryless that you can actually realize that
this probably is just a phase that you're going through, that nothing is
actually wrong, everything will change as everything will always
change...maybe out of being sooo worryless, you just might find your self
feeling positive enough to realize that it can be incredibly easy to
surrender, and this includes sexually
jason
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