To: K-list
Recieved: 2004/04/10 22:43
Subject: Re: [K-list] How to transform aggression to love
From: maz
On 2004/04/10 22:43, maz posted thus to the K-list:
after that, meditating in stillness,
my heart felt like it
grew into a pulsating footbal sized center of my body,
Whash-Whash-Whash-Whash. I loved it but I could not keep it. After
focussing into it, it went away.>
My mum had that last year. Like your chest opened your heart expanded and
all you could feel was love? And you felt like you could fly?
I've never had it.
My situation with aggression is the following. After my ex-wife and I
got separated half a year ago, it feels like some kind of energy started
searching its way out through aggression that I cannot control (yet -
hopefully)
During the week I work as a management consultant, and I have my
emotional ups and downs and I do KY sets in the early morning and in the
evening and I feel relaxed. From Thursday evening until Monday morning I
do not practice a lot of KY and I take care of our three kids of 2, 5
and 7 and then I get into situations that bring me out of balance. I
analyzed it last days and I think I am getting an understanding of when
it happens. It´s particularly in two situations.
1. When our kids use passive aggression or unfairess against eachother.
It fears me, like it is me, to whom the aggression is directed. Crazy,
as it seams but this can result in an aggressive act from me to my kids.
Not that I physically hurt them but I see my reaction causes fear in
their eyes and I hate that. I seem to radiate and express a lot of
aggression...
2. When one of our kids doesn´t obey me, or a common rule. I think it is
a good thing to not let kids play with the boundaries of what they are
allowed to do and what not. But I tend to over react lately, with the
same overdosis of aggression flaming up from inside that it scares me
afterwards.>
It seems to me you have to get some rubbish out of your system. For your
kids sakes and for your own sake. But your kids are dependent on you and
your moods affect them.
Try EFT. I think it is a great technique for bringing up old hurts and
rubbish that you can look in the face - and then dismiss. The only thing
is - be prepared for some pain. But at least you'll know where the pain is
coming from and you won't project it on to anyone or anything else..
Try www.emofree.com
If you want, I can send you the short version, which may not be available at
that site, but which works just as well I think.>
I never have this when other people are around. As a matter of fact, I
always get compliments from others about my patience with the kids.
Could it be the same, me trying to be the perfect dad to get approval of
others?>
It could be. On the other hand, you might be being too hard on yourself.
Only you know the truth.
I love my kids, I think, how can I be sure. All my free time I
spend with them. But sometimes it feels like it is too much. I am glad I
am aware of what is going on. But I am looking for more insight in where
this aggression comes from and how I can process the energy that flames
up from deeply inside (fear?) into love before it gets poisoned and
enters the physical world as aggression. I feel I need to transform the
root cause but I don´t seem to understand how. Feels like something has
its roots so deeply inside of me that I need to transform it now, not
cover it up by external sources of joy like having fun with friends,
getting into a new relationship or things like that. >
Get rid of it. That is the only way. EFT means emotional freedom technique
(and no I don't get paid for this)
I am more that interested in your reactions on this subject - any
suggestion is very welcome.>
Best wishes
Marion
Namaste,
René
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