To: K-list
Recieved: 2004/03/29 22:55
Subject: Re: [K-list] Passive aggression, the Shadow,
From: Sabrina Gould

----- Original Message -----
From: "Mystress Angelique Serpent" <MystressATfire-serpent.com>
>
> It will. The cranky bitch is another layer of victimhood, showing up
> to be peeled away. A transitional phase

I've noticed that the cranky bitch has the same characteristics of the
helpless victim - frustration, anger, a sense of helplessness and tension.
It's interesting....I find my control drama has changed from perpetual 'poor
me' to occasional 'poor me' and 'intimidator' mode. I know that my
aggression is not healthy when my state of mind is that I HAVE to be a
bitch, or the other person won't stop victimizing me. Same bs, different
expression.

. Assertive and aggressive are not
> the same thing. Being appropriately assertive, and defining your
> boundaries does not whack your power chakra like being inappropriately
> aggressive will. Your discernment will improve with practice, and you will
> find the middle path.

Goodie!! The trick is staying grounded and mindful when I'm defining my
boundaries to others. It's hard to keep my emotions from interfering
sometimes.
>
> Bravo to you, for the growing! (applause!) The transition is hard, but
> your courage and resolution in working through it with openness and
honesty
> is beautiful.

Aw, thanks! *hugs* I"m not there yet....but your post showed up at the
perfect time. I recently made a new friend who's very honest and assertive,
and our communication dynamic is challenging and inspiring me to do the
same. I had the thought today that win/lose approaches to communication
cause stress and conflict and power struggles. I had to do some telephone
negotiating with government officials, something I've had issues with for a
long time. So I decided to go in to the conversation with a win/win attitude
instead of seeing the other person on the end of the phone as my enemy, as
someone I had to fight with to give me what I need. And it seemed to work
much better! Your post gave me some more food for thought....and a major
shakti rush! Resolving a lifetime of PA poor me is quite challenging.....but
rewarding. And funny!
>
Blah...speaking of procrastinating and forgetfullness, the poll I conducted
in December is on the way.

Sabrina

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