To: K-list
Recieved: 2004/03/12 09:36
Subject: Re: [K-list] grieving and more...
From: v
On 2004/03/12 09:36, v posted thus to the K-list:
Dear Rene - list,
My goodness; you *do* seem oversensitive to your wife and family in
general. And who could blame you? You are obviously in love, and a
"family man", as all societies condone us all to be. And "Love" is
a nebulous, undefinable, psychic state, which can elevate us to the
Higher planes, or destroy us bitterly, depending on how much *Self*
respect we have.
Nobody can be a good vessel for *Love*, if the purity becomes
obscured by ego - expectations, self-recrimination, and illusions. I
realize that you love for your daughters is intact, and that is a good
thing!
But, "romantic" love is often marred by inner illusionary *needs*,
and/or a veil which is hard to see through the reality of the other
"loved" person.
Oversensitivity is definitely a symptom of the spiritually awakening
Self - aka "kundalini", but - speaking from experience - is very very
difficult to decipher from our own issues.
I have been reading on El Collie's pages tonight, and may i refer you
to http://www.elcollie.com/html/Issue22.html please? 'Beware Of The Men
In White Coats' - in which she describes the different psychological
states, both as described by modern psychotherapy, and also from the
spiritual standpoint.
There are emotional/mental conditions which fool us into thinking
that there are "synchronicities" and the state of "being in contact"
with the other person psychically, and believing that the object of
one's affections returns our love, no matter what the evidence
is to the contrary.
I am taking license in this matter from my own experience - where I
was *so* in love with someone that I could not possibly believe he would
not reciprocate my feelings. I could *feel* him - he came outside and
stared at me at JUST the "right time", I *knew what he was doing, I ran
into him synchronistically - and I was convinced he was the "love of my
life". This went on for years, until he finally moved to Hawaii. I was
totally absorbed with my sureness that we would eventually be together,
that I could NOT see that he was on another plane altogether, and being
a Vietnam War vet, and disillusionment with women and a total lack of
spiritual considerations were stronger issues in his
life than my so reverant and chaste adoration.
But - I was totally fooled! Me - the one who was so oversensitive to
people's feelings as to be an empath, and take away illnesses of others
just by being nearby! Me - whom life had proven again and again that my
oversensitivies had basis in the *truth*! Just by that heady feeling
of being *in Love* - I came closer to my God at least.
But I could read his mind at a distance (or so I thought), but - I
didn't allow for his feelings to enter my equation. And - whether or
not I was right or not, he drifted away. Maybe it was just because I
was so blind...
Or maybe, just maybe - I was just *wrong*?
I think a certain amount of objectivity from such situations is
imperative. I think you need to take a far-off vacation and put some
time and distance between you. Then come back and see what you think.
When we are on the spiritual path, there are only coherant rules if
we devote ourselves to a teacher. When we are *in Love* there ARE no
rules, and "love is (also) blind".
The most important thing in this situation that I can see
objectively, is that you harm no one, and especially your Self.
You cannot give love until you love yourself, and in this case it sounds
like you are being taken for a ride . Maybe the best
"offense" would be a good "defense"? Take care of you, first! Make sure
you are strong in body, mind and soul...go lay on a beach somewhere and
contemplate the clouds for awhile. Contemplate the stars and
try to feel spiritually what Spirit, and especially your Self - means to
you. Find a yoga teacher in another country who can teach you to
prioritize, with your Self first. You can always come back and be
obsessed with your life again, if you want to!
God bless you! I can really *feel* for you! I wish you the best
of all worlds, as I would for my Self, or anyone ! Because
we are all One, in the end-all. And even the least of our problems is
shared by all of us.
Best Of Luck,
valerie
ps (remember to keep your sense of humor!)
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