To: K-list
Recieved: 2004/03/11 20:07
Subject: [K-list] playing with body/mind
From: forrest curo
On 2004/03/11 20:07, forrest curo posted thus to the K-list:
"Jesus said, 'If you bring forth what is within you, it will save you. If
you do not bring forth what is within you, it will destroy you.' "
(Gospel of Thomas)
When I started writing poetry, I'd apply this to poems that wanted to be
written.
Oftentimes I'd wake up in the middle of the night, stomach churning (a
Virgo thing) and the result would show signs of real inspiration. Other
times my stomach would just churn. Other poets would wake up feeling
equally inspired and the results could be really bad. If you need to know
what a "really bad" poem is, remember the Vogon "poetry appreciation
chairs" where they'd read to their least favorite prisoners, and rejoice in
your good fortune! :>}
Anyway, this is an example of how physical energies relate to mental
states. I think my long-term tendency to constipation-&-sinus-headaches
likewise reflects/causes/is-part-of a certain way of functioning. Lots of
energy in the throat area (used to be blocked, shy-&-stammering, forced out
into writing) but disconnection with the visual elements of the old 6th Chakra.
Getting stoned would get the visualization circuits working (which for me
normally only happens in dreams) and incidentally would sometimes make me
incredibly anxious, I mean hellishly anxious, as in "If the choice were
between dying & an eternity of THIS I'd prefer dying" (as if that were
helpful or even possible!) Another effect was dryness & strong
(overwhelming) awareness of the back of my mouth/nose area. Which ought to
be the connecting area between the throat and the third eye. Acid could
also put me into a heavy synchronicity-state... which didn't necessarily
mean I'd get the particular coincidences I expected, but did include being
unusually aware of the meaningful qualities of whatever did happen.
It's not wise to want to "live in interesting times", but as a kid, I
wanted to (and NOW look!--'the best of times, the worst of times.')
Cranking up the old kundalini, on purpose, is supposed to be just as
dangerous. Unless you're "led to" do so... I WANT to--and have to hope it's
part of "my" yearning for "the Reign of God" to manifest fully.
So. Holding one's breath while doing yoga. Definitely a 'no-no'. Tried an
illustrative example from a book, effects of repeatedly breathing deeply,
then holding one's breath--except you were supposed to try it while
sitting, and I didn't have anyplace handy to sit. Blam! Ow! Very suddenly
relaxed, fastest I ever found myself on the floor, lucky to be undamaged.
Overdoing yoga. A rusty reclining "thunderbolt" position, trying to make up
for all the days I'd been just goofing off--and I couldn't get up!
Panicked, I got up anyway. Something in the lower back went "TWANG!" and I
managed to rock on my knees up onto the couch. I spent the night there,
wondering if I'd ever walk again. Next day, had to go to an interview on
crutches. But during that worried night, my head was all lit up inside.
Breathing too enthusiastically in Meeting, right after breakfast. I drifted
back again from a dream of being lost in a strange unfriendly place, found
everybody staring. I'd held my breath and fainted, the air rushing out
making everyone think I'd "had a seizure." Had to talk them out of taking
me to a doctor, or this might have turned into who-knows-what. Fixed my
sinuses the rest of the day.
What I've been trying lately... Concentrating/breathing into the area above
my throat, back of mouth & nose. Also chanting with attention there. Tends
to clear my nose; whatever else it does is so far too subtle to say much about.
For some time... I've been feeling my twinges as 'energy', trying to move
them with my breath. And lately I've been doing it "with my heartbeat."
Sometimes just moving through them. Not moving them anywhere in particular,
because after reading so many versions of where they're supposed to go, I'm
happy to have them go where they like, so long as they don't just stay
stuck. What starts as sharp heartbeat becomes long waves, slower than the
fast pulse I'm accustomed to, sometimes back & forth, sometimes circular.
Any of this potentially helpful?
Forrest Curo
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