To: K-list 
Recieved: 2004/02/29  16:34  
Subject: [K-list] Back from the graves 
From: Rich
  
On 2004/02/29  16:34, Rich posted thus to the K-list: 
  
 
 
...of computer permanence 
 
...or so it seems 
 
 
I've come to know amplified headaches quite well.. Focussing for too long 
leaving me in states of detachment from my own memories, my ability to think 
or analyze and what's going on in the now. Very weird. All in desire to 
finish. 
 
Strange though, sometimes I've worked through tiredness and found a further 
source of energy that kept me going in the small hours. At other times, my 
body ached and could not continue. I'd want to collapse. 
 
 
Do I love this? Fatigue.. No not really, but in the sake of trying to finish 
something behind schedule I carried on. I think pain can go together with 
pleasure. I see resisting pain is what makes it painful. Allowing it and 
directing it away from within can be advantageous. Moving energy. Flush some 
of the meridians or energy pathways perhaps. 
 
 
Upon reflection, I came to know some of my 'chasing' behavior to complete 
this (or reach an end). This came from where I used to compete to get the TV 
remote control and the comfy seat first when I was a little nipper. Funny 
how things run out of control - autopilot. This was the repeating routine 
when coming home from school together with my bro. 
 
 
So now I asked goddess to help. Hand it over and try to forget. I couldn't 
handle the continual involvement well. I've been there before and the weight 
is too much after too long. Last night I went out with adverts in hand. 
Asked goddess to find me some people to do this with. 
 
First stop I look at some stall and two Australian sounding people were 
haggling the price of a product. One muttered almost on cue, I've been here 
6 months I know I can get these cheaper. Bingo! It didn't hit me straight 
away. Too surprised and nervous (I'm not a salesman by trade) to talk to him 
and market myself. 
 
I thought that would be it but asked for one more chance. Didn't think it 
would happen until on the train home a teacher sat next to me who had lived 
here 10 years. Struck up a conversation and on almost perfect timing handed 
him my advert before he stood up to get off the train. 
 
 
r 
 
The fruits of my frustration and tiresome labor... 
 
www.foneaway.net 
 
 
 
thanks if you drop by :)  
 
would love any feedback
 
 
 
 
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