To: K-list
Recieved: 2004/02/02 18:42
Subject: [K-list] Can I tell you a scary story?
From: Ryan Lewis
On 2004/02/02 18:42, Ryan Lewis posted thus to the K-list:
Hello,
I'd like to share an experience with all of you that I've had back
sometime around in March, 2003. I've already told Mystress about it when I
first joined up and it was recently brought up in a conversation a had with
another healer and then I began to wonder if I wasn't alone. It all started
when I moved out of my apartment complex and into a house with some guy "Mr.
P" (aka. piece of shit) and my friend Jose whom I work with. Some
arrangements were made, that were never met, that persuaded me to move in.
Things were going great for about a few weeks until this little crack-addict
girl Lisa gets released from jail after spending several months there and
moves back in Mr. P's house. After talking with neighbors and getting more
acquainted with Mr. P it turns out that he's the con-artist type who brings
people in and screws them over financially any way he can and that I was
just #9. Mr. P is a lonely man and was using Lisa to appease his loneliness
and we also learned he was dealing drugs from the house we were living in
when Jose and I were off at work. Lisa also is using him too for a place to
stay and get high. So there was a lot of tension building up in the air
that was getting worse each day and I was really starting to resent this
little Lisa.
My friend Jose has the ability to read tarot cards when he's in a laxed
mood (he has to have a few beers in him before God talks to him). Anyways,
this one night Jose and I were sitting at the kitchen table getting readings
done on me (and my cat) and Lisa was also in the kitchen with us doing
dishes. After a while we get Lisa to sit down with us to get her a reading.
At first, she thought it was all really amusing that two grown men would
be spending their time together playing make believe. It didn't take long
for the facades to drop and for her to begin crying her eyes out. She has
had a really messed up life and has even smoked crack with her mother just
to give you an idea were she's coming from. Just then, Jose goes for
another gulp of beer then spews it back out all over the table. He starts
saying "they are so mean" and "they don't want me reading her" as he was
pointing at the devil card and then he starts pacing all up and down the
kitchen, jerking around back-and-forth, with both his arms clenched over his
chest saying "they are so mean" over and over again. He started shouting at
me in some kind of twisted looking form "YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT I DO!" after I
told him to surround himself with a bubble of light...oops, bad idea.
Anybody seen the movie Exorcist, cause that's what it was starting to look
like. The pressure inside the room just felt like it dropped and the whole
atmosphere around us suddenly changed. We were all losing circulation in
our bodies and my hands were becoming twisted like and I nearly lost control
of my bowls. Lisa tried to get up and was hopping around the kitchen on one
leg. After about a minute things returned to normal and we all finished up
with the reading. Jose comes up to me later telling me it was a good thing
that I was there because I absorbed it like a sponge. I told him it's a
good thing I did because a was getting ready to knock his ass out with a
chair and dial 911. It must have been really traumatic for both of us
because we couldn't really recall what had just happened, we kind of had to
spend some time together sorting things out piece by piece. Even to this
day, as I'm writing this to you, I have to keep coming back again and again
to add, save and edit to this letter before I send it off to the K-list. If
I tried to write it out all out at once it would be all jarbled up and
wouldn't make much since. Lisa doesn't remember a thing, maybe it's
spiritual weakness combined with crack.
I'm not completely sure what really happened or what come out of Lisa that
night. I do know that the next day I felt GREAT. I can't say if it was
because releasing something from her released something from me or maybe I'm
some kind of karma vampire or whatever. I felt very peaceful and still like
I was on painkillers. The other healer I spoke with says that people with
substance abuse problems usually have a lot of beings hanging around them.
The clairvoyant witch across the street from us said that an evil spirit
came out of her body. This is not really something that I look back on with
dread or regret, but rather, something that was fun and exciting and I'm
ready to do again. Still, I'd really have to work up the courage to do
something like that all over again. Several days after the incident Jose
says he can hear people running around in the attic laughing (mean laughter)
and having a good time, because they like this house and they like what Mr.
P brings in here. He also felt that there was something out there waiting.
I said, "well, what do you mean?" He says, "I don't know...there's is just
something outside the house...waiting. This kind of scared me because I've
have not had that much spiritual training at all, especially with this
boogie-man shit, and anything you can't shoot at and won't bleed frightens
me. On top of that, I didn't know "WHAT" the hell I was dealing with. When
he said that I immediately felt it was the same disturbing energy force that
was in the kitchen with us that night. I kind of felt like it was somehow
drained of it's power and it was waiting for the right time and moment to
make another pass. Every time I stepped out of the house at night to go to
work I felt like I was being watched and like hate with being directed at
me. Sometimes when I stepped outside a terrible image would flash before me
for a millisecond but was being kept away somehow. Just long enough to get
your attention but not long enough to send off any alarm bells. I don't
know, maybe it was just the drug dealers watching me across the street, but
I prayed for the right archetypes to be sent in to surround and guard the
house as long as I was in it. Looking back at it, from this point, I'm
more inclined to see them as thought entities. It's like Mystress says with
children playing with their toys long enough they become very real to them.
Maybe, it was emotional turbulence running on some kind of computer program
seeming like a cyborg or a terminator. Not something real but something
that we make real. Then again, I'm not really too certain about it either.
After a while, Jose moved out of the house and Lisa's therapy counselor
shows up to stay with us for a while to help get Lisa back on her feet. I
was glad to see my prayers being answered the very next day, Goddess moves
at the speed of business. I became very sympathetic towards Lisa after that
night in the kitchen and wanted to see her overcome whatever she was up
against. From the card reading I could see that Lisa's evil sister was one
of the main players in her life situation. I felt the hatred that was being
directed towards me out that doorstep was along the same frequency of Lisa's
sister directing at Lisa and her mom. I remember her calling Lisa up on the
phone asking permission to pierce Lisa's baby with earrings. Not really
going to, but just using a innocent/gullible type person for emotional
target practice over the phone. I remember hearing it in the other room as
she had Lisa jumping through every hoop. On day, while trying to get some
sleep in my room while allowing Lisa's counselor to use my computer I felt
like something was disturbing/agitating me by pulling hairs on my legs and
keeping me from getting any rest. I just got up and went to go watch the
war in Iraq on TV when the light bulb in my room exploded as soon as I
worked out the door. Jose remembers lying down in that room and just when
he was about to fall asleep he remembers sensing two human like arms with
large, demonic looking, claw-like hands coming up over his head and towards
his chest area before he'd wake up in fear. I told him about the light bulb
incident and he remembers that happening to him as well. He also says the
lamp unplugged itself in front of him leaving him alone in the dark: ) I
remember one time, trying to fall asleep, just right when I was about to
only to suddenly wake up submerged in terror with adrenaline going through
me and I didn't know why. Attempts to get Lisa back on track failed so
Lisa's counselor kicked her out of the house, then left. Mr. P let her back
in that same night for sexual favors. Mr. P is a good person and has a
conscious but he's sick in head and does bad things. His attitude is if you
don't let me help you let me screw you first before you die. She started
smoking crack inside the house and I was getting furious. I told Lisa that
if she smoked crack in the house again that I was calling the cops. She
just said, "whatever, fu&% you., blah, blah, blah. Then I said, "I've said
what needed to be said" and right when I turned around she kind of sank into
the couch like she just absorbed something with a complete look of disgust
and futility across her face. She looked kind of like she'd been shot in
the stomach and was dying. It was like my Higher Self said, "Alright, if
don't want help I wont" then gave something back to her. That that point
on, it was all downhill until I got the hell out of there.
I look back at this situation as a great learning experience. I started
to become too involved with trying to help Lisa that I was paying little
attention to people stepping, and spitting on me when they oviously didn't
want any help. After that, I was like ok I just need to learn to chew my
leg off like a cyotee caught in a bear trap in order to keep a safe
emotional distance from people like that from now on. Now I know staying
grounded and centered would be a much more better alternative. This was
also one of the most diffinative moments in my life. I felt both kind of
victimized and excited by the asteral realm after the "kitchen incident" and
so next time, instead of just sitting in a chair with a stupid look on my
face while were all being attacked like that, I wanted to be conciously
involved. I wanted to learn more about myself and find out who I really was
instead of always feeling "on the run." That's when I started buying up all
these pagan books and researching heavily into witchcraft. Just a year
before that, if you were to ask me what a pagan was I might think it was
maybe someone in the colonial period dressed up for Thanksgiving. While
reading up and improving my spiritual IQ with withcraft, pranic healing,
crystals, etc. I felt as if something was lacking. I didn't know what it
was it was just as if all this research really wasn't making me feeling any
better except leaving me with 10 more questions for every one I solved. I
kind of pondered on what was it that I really needed and that's when the
Kundalini took off in me, like I explained in the first letter to the K-list
in October 03. After I started reading through Mystress's website I knew why
none of this learning was doing me any good was because wicca is an
"egotistical" religion with just about everything else I do or have done.
When I started to learn that my ego was the source of all my ills and that I
was my own true enemy, I just woke up one morning wanting to take my ego out
and beat him to death with my bear hands. Obviously, this kind of thinking
wasn't going to do anything for me except spin my tires in the mud getting
nowhere. Instead of getting angry with myself, I needed to learn to
understand and except myself as me and know that my ego was here to protect
me. That's when the real healing can start.
I'm wondering if anyone else on the K-list has ever had an experience of
being "ambushed" by the paranormal. I'm also curious if anyone could maybe
offer some impute to shed some light on the matter.
Sweet Dreams,
Ryan
Afterthought; I think the movie 'Phenomenon' with John Travolta is the most
closely related film that's in accordance with Kundalini and being
K-awakened.
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