To: K-list
Recieved: 2004/01/09 20:09
Subject: [K-list] Sheep
From: Lobster
On 2004/01/09 20:09, Lobster posted thus to the K-list:
>>God is not (as you have surmised gonna help you)
>
>Yes. The ole
>'god as Santa in the sky'
>is as foolish as
>that show 'Fear Factor'.
:-)
Hi David
Dear Friends,
>I've heard when oil crashes
>human population crashes with it too.
>
>http://www.lifeaftertheoilcrash.net/
Perhaps.
I am still waiting for the free
scooter the aliens on the Hail Bopp comet were bringing . . .
. . . and then people died with smiles on their idiotic faces.
(I mean that in a real, kind, compassionate way
- after all who knows when the next UFO turns out to be a comet . .
or vice versa)
Is it helpful to live for what might happen?
Perhaps to a degree.
I agree totally with simple needs
but some people prefer greater complications . . .
Always oblige.
>So, who in the end wins out?
>
>First thought that comes to mind
>are people like small, 'primitive' tribes in remote areas of Africa.
The meek finally win . . .
about time too . . .
:-)
>They should continue to do quite well
>and have a good view of the fireworks in the coming decades.
>
>They will inherit the last laugh.
:-)
Let us hope so - is it time for some jokes?
>God helps simple
>naked people.
>
>Be Simple
>:)
:-)
I have been looking at
gravitons, instatons and knot theory
http://web.uvic.ca/~jtwong/newtheories.htm
(simple enough even for me)
I hope we all survive to help each other
and make the world free of dependence on
cosmic events or deities . . .
:-)
Lobster
========
A shepherd was herding his flock in a remote pasture
when suddenly, a brand-new BMW
advanced out of a dust cloud towards him.
The driver, a young man in a Brioni suit, Gucci shoes, Ray Ban sunglasses
and YSL tie, leans out the window and asks the shepherd:
"If I tell you exactly how many sheep you have in your flock, will you give
me one?"
The shepherd looks at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looks at his
peacefully grazing flock and calmly answers: "Sure. Why not?"
The yuppie parks his car, whips out his Dell notebook computer, connects it
to his AT&T cell phone, surfs to a NASA page on the internet, where he
calls up a GPS satellite navigation system to get an exact fix on his
location which he then feeds to another NASA satellite that scans the area
in an ultra-high-resolution photo. Then the young man opens the digital
photo in Adobe Photoshop and exports it to an image processing facility in
Hamburg, Germany. Within seconds, he receives an email on his Palm Pilot
that the image has been processed and the data stored.
He then accesses a MS-SQL database through an ODBC connected Excel
spreadsheet with hundreds of complex formulas. He uploads all of this data
via an email on his Blackberry and, after a few minutes, receives a
response. Finally, he prints out a full-color, 150-page report on his
hi-tech, miniaturized HP LaserJet printer and finally turns to the shepherd
and says: "You have exactly 1586 sheep."
"That's right. Well, I guess you can take one of my sheep"
says the shepherd.
He watches the young man select one of the animals and looks on
amused as the young man stuffs it into the trunk of his car.
Then the shepherd says to the young man:
"Hey, if I can tell you exactly
what your business is, will you give me back my sheep?"
The young man thinks about it for a second
and then says, "Okay, why not?"
"You're a consultant." says the shepherd.
"Wow! That's correct," says the yuppie, "but how did you guess that?"
"No guessing required." answered the shepherd.
"You showed up here even though nobody called you;
you want to get paid for an
answer I already knew; to a question I never asked;
and you don't know crap
about my business. Now give me back my dog!"
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