To: K-list
Recieved: 2003/12/16 17:12
Subject: [K-list] Re: K-list Digest, Vol 6, Issue 20
From: j g
On 2003/12/16 17:12, j g posted thus to the K-list:
why is clearing so painfull and angry? seems like
every time i experiance clearing through kundalini it
is always foribly, and cosses loss of sleep. my tongue
clicks around in my mouth all night, my reality turns
mean and violent. there was one amazing moment though,
only lasted a few secounds-i somehow caught a glimse
into how my reality tunnels have been-it was like
looking into a sphear that made up the definations of
the worlds i've wondered-they were all connected,
seems like they were all worlds of expectation.
Expectation seems to be the controlling factor,
weither trying to streer, or trying to let go. i end
up coming across something-say a negative paranoid
feeling related to control, and i don't know how to
let it go..that little feeling will bloom up in my
life until it has wore its self out-either the fear
fades away or the light of understanding is eventually
shone.
all this negativitiy is mirrored with occasional
moments of what feels like spiritual confidence, the
feeling of my soul secure, rather than confused and
excited. i wonder why my recent experiances have been
polarized like this. a negitive, painfull experiance
that facilitates clearing, and the a positive healing
experiance to relax into. anyone have any clues to why
things are so left and right? there's no intergration,
no middle line. i guess my experiances where always
like this-before reaching my potiential, or at least,
most elevated moment, i had to scour through the
trenches of my most depressed state. and then to
simply fall from such a beautifull place... :/ makes
me wonder what the next phase will be? i guess i'm
still in my head, we're waking up the mind to a better
memory-huh-maybe due to the left and right
hemisphears, and due to my experiances currently
waking up my mind in different ways-clearing out old
beliefs and thoughts-maybe things just seem very left
and right? makes sence i guess. :/ the mind! that's
what it is!! that's why! but its all in the mind? so i
suppose-if things seem really rough for you mentally,
stop thinking so much and just love the body?
lofe
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