To: K-list
Recieved: 2003/12/13 16:50
Subject: [K-list] bipolar
From: robert hoffman
On 2003/12/13 16:50, robert hoffman posted thus to the K-list:
My own awakening was later accompanied by manic symptoms, and was
diagnosed then as bipolar disorder. Whenever there is a surge of divine
energy, it happens, I believe, because attachments of ego have been
reduced or laid aside sufficiently to allow it. But If such energies are
entering our lives for the first time in such stark and vivid ways, as
they were in my case, ego will feel threatened and confused, because the
language of this energy is of the heart chakra, not the mind/ego.
Surrender to it takes practice, and the body and psyche's adjustments to
its presence can be difficult in the absence of informed guidance. This
tussle between ego and the forces opening the heart chakra and
channelling up the spine I believe can easily manifest in manic behavior
that the medical profession misdiagnoses as bipolar disorder and
mistreats with overmedication. This is why one of the classic symptoms
of mania is "seeing/being God". People are coming into contact with
divine energy, or cosmic consciousness and western medicine throws them
onto a locked ward and shoots them full of zyprexa and depakote, or what
have you.
thankfully, I am in the care of a doctor who is helping me to wean
myself off the last of these medications, and I have succeeded in
integrating the kundalini experience into my life so that I can be open
to the dimensions of growth and development that are likely to unfold as
the seed planted two years ago when the first experiences happened comes
to fruition. I came to this site because I came to know a transcendant
life, to apprehend it, know it viscerally. I would make it my central
focus, and Iuse what tools I know to effect that, but I need a teacher.
I know so little about what I have been given. It was not given lightly.
Maintaining a disciplined practice within the demands of a profession
and active life requires a rigor I need help to sustain.
I am grateful to have a site full of folks whose experience mesh with
mine; it isn't safe to converse casually about these things.
Love to all,
Robnrobert
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