To: K-list
Recieved: 2003/10/12 08:26
Subject: [K-list] New member
From: Ryan Lewis
On 2003/10/12 08:26, Ryan Lewis posted thus to the K-list:
Hi everyone,
My name is Ryan, I live in the Dallas/Ft. Worth area, and I'm sort of a
new member. I didn't jump on the K-list
right away because when I first joined up I felt more inclined toward the
lessons and the channeled info from
Mystress. Also, I just barley fixed my computer after the motherboard
overheated, but I'm glad to be back.
I can't exactly tell you when my Kundalini first awoke because I really
don't know. I can tell you that when my
life stabled out a little more, about 6 months ago, is when the energy
really got nasty with me. I didn't know
what was going on so I consulted a trusted psychic who contacted my Higher
Self on the issue.
He said this: "Now you are sunk into the emotional processing. Certain
levels of this already happened in the
process of getting yourself clean, and now you are into the phase of deeper
learning and awareness of how you feel
about yourself, and cleansing out old, destructive feelings about yourself
and your life, and mistaken beliefs. It
is from those emotions and beliefs that the physical aspect of your learning
arose from. You will find that the
deeper you go in the process of re-integrating yourself, the feelings first
go deeper and deeper, and this becomes
much more an emotional and mental game of observing yourself, weeding out
what does not feel helpful or correct for
you, and changing the way you behave and relate, both with yourself and with
other people.
You have probably already noticed that your relationships are affected in
this process. You will notice where the
old issues are still present, and it is first and foremost critical that you
SIMPLY NOTICE THESE WITHOUT ANY
JUDGEMENT WHATSOEVER. This is very important, because the judgment itself
is part of the old way, and if you make
the mistake of judging the fact that you are giving yourself the gift of
observation and awareness (which is the
only reason you are noticing these things), you could spend an inordinate
amount of time circling yourself with a
bat taking swings at yourself, instead of moving fairly quickly through,
letting go, feeling, correcting your
thinking, and feeling better and better and better.
So now we are into the relinquishment of shame.
Congratulations! The release of shame and doubt take a huge weight off, and
bring the freshest of breezes into your
life.
So, for the next period of time, until you are done, with no time clock
running, begin to observe your heart. Allow
and welcome disturbing feelings as they arise- don't push them away. Think
about them if you like, or let them blow
through if that feels right in the moment. Just relax and let yourself
traverse through what may look like rather a
minefield.
Let it happen, and allow.
As you get better and better at this allowing, you will begin to be aware
that it is like a river of emotional
sludge which is actually being washed out of you. Yes! That is what is
actually happening, and why it is wise not
to pretend with yourself that it is a bad thing. It is a very, very good
thing. Enjoy the river as it runs it's
stinky course through you, and know that there is fresh water behind it,
pushing it forward out of you. You
attention and your allowing are the open gates which allow the fresh water
to course in, pushing in front of it the
emotional wreckage. So, remind yourself of this if you find yourself from
time to time facing a tidal wave of shame
which slams into you. Know that you are witnessing your own healing.
Take care of yourself during this time- this is important, because allowing
this without a safety net of healthy,
supportive activities and positive, affirming friends is much, much more
difficult. So it will be wise to make sure
that you put these in place, or improve them if need be.
As you move through this phase of your healing, you will find an interesting
experience of intense old emotion
side-by-side with an awareness of fresh power and enlightened good humor and
confidence. Enjoy!"
When this first started I was barely making it through the day with my
jobs. Have you ever had a REALLY BAD
hangover were you thought you might just die? That is what it was kind of
like except that it wasn't my physical body that wanted to vomit, but it was
like my essence was. It was excruciating, at first, because I think that it
was the lowest emotions that came out and it wasn't until about a month 1/2
later that I regained most of my energy back. I was hacking thick mucus out
of my lungs and I always felt "poisoned." It never occurred to me that
emotions could do this to someone! This was terrible, but this is basically
how I stumbled across Mystess's web site.
I started to desperately search the web for answers and for someone who
could help cure my Hangover Blues. I first
stumbled across a woman who does do a lot of Rieki (combined with a lot of
other things) for about 20 years, so
she's very good. After I explained my problem she said that she was capable
of removing a lot of toxins. I said
"great" and came over the same week. Right away, she could see that I
wasn't her usual patient. She made me feel
better after the session but the very next day I felt I was back to square
one again. She did mention that I wasn't
grounded. For some reason, the word 'grounded' struck a chord with me. I
felt that this was extremely important so I googled the word grounded a few
times to see what I could learn. That's when I first came across Mystress's
website (which I know was no accident) with the info for clearing entities,
karma, ghosts, ego, discernment, etc.
I was astounded with all the information and couldn't wait to get back on
the internet after work to read more. It's a good thing I landed on that
webpage first too, because if I would have landed on any other of Mystress's
webpages I might of said "What a Freak!" and kept on surfing. After getting
more familiar with Kundalini, which I never knew anything about in the first
place, I decided to become a member. I have already had two personal
sessions with Mystress and she was able to help me out in many ways.
Now, after six months of Kundalini punishment, I'm finally starting to get
some blissful moments. It's about time
because after reading about other people's experiences I was beginning to
feel kind of left out. I couldn't understand it, I kept on staying grounded
and surrending and the pain kept on coming. Sometimes it was pain with a
memory, but most of the time it was pain without a memory. Don't get me
wrong, I wasn't in 24/7 kind of pain, but only every time there was an
energy surge I guess. No, I wasn't resisting either, or at least I don't
think I was. I've had about 6 blissful experiences with one really good
one. Whoever said it was still and peaceful like depression but with bliss
instead of pain was correct. I don't think I've felt that way since I was
an infant.
I don't know if anyone else is having the same problems that I've had but
I'd like to offer some techniques to help it go a little smother. First,
you should learn and practice deep breathing. I mean DEEP BREATHING. Fill
your lungs until they cannot possibly hold any more air, then hold it for
about a second or so then release slowly and controllably. Push all the air
out, hold for about a second, then repeat. It's important to remain
consciously
in control of your breathing as possible and not drift off and let your
unconscious do the breathing for you because
this will help turn inward.
If your really intense, you can fill a bucket of ice cold water and dump
it over your head. It's important to get
the water as cold as possible for this technique to work properly. The
colder the better (not too cold because you don't want to bust your head
open with a large ice-cube). What it does is make all your cells release
it's stored heat. Your body will go up to about 108 degrees F. for about a
fraction of a second and kills germs and viruses. That's what your body
does when you get the flu; it heats itself up but yet your freezing your ass
off because your cells are expending all their heat storage. It's probably
a good idea that you stand somewhere in your lawn because you don't want to
do any damage to your house. It rushes all the negative energy from the top
of your head and into the earth with such intensity that it's been know for
some people to burn footprints into the snow or even into concrete! It
would be a major bummer if you go to sell your house and there are burned
footprints with cracks around the end of it in your driveway or your porch
or something. I haven't started this yet because it just isn't cold enough
were I live right now and I'm not going to waste ice trying to get my water
cold. But I recommend this technique twice daily.
Lastly, you can do the Twin-Hearts meditation. To sum it up you'll be
sending loving energy to the earth while being rewarded back many
times...good karma. What I do is sit down in a chair inside a dark quiet
room and say this
prayer while touching my Heart Chakra;
"Mother & Father, please invoke your divine blessings upon me, in full faith
and love I give thanks." (I know this is a Matriarch site but I still feel
more inclined to lean toward the idea of a loving Mother and Father god from
'God, Creation, and the Tools for Life' by Sylvia Browne, which is also
channeled info).
I ask that my guides & my angles help guide, ground, illuminate, and protect
me, with full faith and love I give thanks."
"Mother & Father, make me an instrument of your peace, where there is hatred
let me so love.
Where there is injury, pardon.
Where there is despair, hope.
Where there is darkness, light...amen."
Now, imagine that there is a globe in front of your Heart Chakra and you
are channeling bright, divine violet light into the earth, healing the
planet. If your very young or are in poor health you shouldn't do this
because it's too intense. When I first started doing this a had to lie down
and take a nap every time. For me, doing the Twin-Hearts meditation works
much better late at night than during the day. This has helped me a lot
when the Kundalini started to get really hard on me!
USE THESE TECHNIQUES AT YOUR OWN RISK BECAUSE I'M NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR YOU
DAMAGING OR KILLING YOURSELF...I had to get that off my chest.
_
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