To: K-list
Recieved: 2003/10/11 15:49
Subject: Re: [K-list] new here
From: Martin Kerr
On 2003/10/11 15:49, Martin Kerr posted thus to the K-list:
indeed hello and welcome kathy,
on migraines.... interesting to note holly's reply...
i too had been a migraine sufferer on and off since my teens,
( so - for about 15 years )
yet after my awakening 4 years ago these also became stronger....
... yet interestingly ( and i don't try to read anything into this )
they seemed to peak with the full moon....
holly touches on something i also found... that the pain of the migraine was
something
that in time i learned to feel in a different way - if that makes sense....
i learnt to
feel it as a simple sensation, rather than a pain ( again - if that makes
sense ??)
one thing i did do ( and this is not a doctrine for any to follow, but was
simply my
way of working with it ) ... was to *not* use any medication for the pain
... i am a person who feels that to push something aside with a blanket of
painkillers
is to sweep the issue under the carpet... and would not allow me to actually
sense the situation within full awareness... again i re-itterate, each
persons situation
is there own... and i give no authority of guidance here... only empathy.
also... following my experiences in july/august this year,
( where i had very intense voices and visions when trying to sleep ) i have
not had one migraine.... i cannot speculate as to what has 'changed' if
anything.
yet a side effect of this has also been an inability to sleep... i don't
feel tired
even without much sleep... but it is sometimes difficult to deal with when i
go
to bed and lie there for hours on end...
... and as i lie there... behind my eyelids there is a constant stroboscopic
flashing
of colours and light... very similar to the flashings and stroboscopic
sensations
that would arise during a migraine... but now occuring in my resting
hours...
yet without any pain... only the distracting flahshing and shuttering effect
of vision.....
[ update on that, since this week i have slept more, and the flashing has
receded ...
... i speculate perhaps that this may be a result of 'finding' others ( i.e.
this group )
who share what i had always felt isoltated within my own experiences... it
is
perhaps cathartic to 'get all this out' to people who can share it without
reaction ]
be strong in yourself, the birth of any life is the most painful moment it
can often
experience.... and in my experience - this journey of birth into light is a
long
and cautious one... with many excitements, and with many fears along the
way.
imagine if you were fully aware during your physical birth... and had the
choice to
remove yourself from the pain of the journey from the womb into the light...
perhaps we would turn back... decide not to be born.... but, in that moment
we are without the fear of our concious conditioning.... and we are drawn
into
the light by a force beyond us.... the pain ( i suspect ) is in the
struggling to hold
on to what we were.... what we have been... to hold onto the attachments of
the ego-mind.... and attachment to the past and the future... rather than
life
in the eternal moment.
imagine also ( if you are a swimmer ) .... the first moment that we were
able
to float un aided... we relax ... we extend our body and relax... and give
ourselves over to the water... and in that moment as we realise we are
floating
there is elation, excitement.... yet we must beware....
in that exitement we tense and we stall... and we sink again...
and suddenly a fear is within us stronger than before....
relax, and float... but stay close to the shore, the undertow is strong.
... and grow in the unity of the ocean of life.
within love and peace,
martin.
> **please remember to delete most of email you are responding to, before
posting your comments to the list.**
>
> Glad you've joined us, Kathy. I've had migraines for 40 years, but they
got
> much worse with k-awakening. However, migraines have also been one of the
> most powerful spiritual teachers in my life. They've taught me
self-forgiveness,
> presence during suffering, staying in the now, among many other skills.
> We're in good company, too. Hildegarde of Bingen was a famous migraineur
> (migrainess?!). Holly
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