To: K-list
Recieved: 2003/09/11 14:52
Subject: [K-list] In and out... Shake it about.
From: Rich
On 2003/09/11 14:52, Rich posted thus to the K-list:
> I have experienced this, but not for a long time. I recalled it as I was
> reading your post. I used to feel that complete expansion - like being as
> big as the Universe, and then I would feel like I became almost like an
> atom - very very small - much smaller than my body. It would happen over
> and over again like the cycle of breathing air into the lungs, and then
> exhaling.
Funny. I too know this (or something similar). I had mentioned to a person
working with me years back about it but they discounted it, thinking what am
I on about. Then I felt silly talking about it and couldn't explain it well.
The first time I was very young when I experienced like this and it was like
a flat plane would get crunched up into a tiny box and keep alternating
between the two. Sometimes high pitched sounds seemed to accompany it. Then
I was scared by it.
In recent years I've gone into the experience which seems I guess somewhere
in my mind. It's not pleasant but not so unpleasant either. For me I get a
little dizzy and 'spaced out' by it.
Not too sure what it's doing there. Or if it follows a body rhythm or
something else. It seems to have no purpose other than to distract my
attention or almost make me feel disorientated and confused a bit as I look
into it.
Some wild idea about mental subversion comes up. Does seem to pull me into
some past when I focus on it. Weird! Mental crap.
Anyway, I couldn't help but notice the full moon lately. What a rough time
I've been through. Masses of old stuff coming up to be terminated. I was
going through hell. Head pounding. Unable to ground or open crown. Asking
for guidance and lots of rest got me over the worst of it.
I asked for a way to release it and about 30 minutes later was confronted
with the most amazing experience of the moon. A golden moon glowing just
above the surface of the sea as we drove out to have dinner. We had to stop
for another reason and it gave me a perfect chance to stop and connect with
the moon. Lovely moon :) It was enough to help break up the choppiness.
Later I asked for a way to open my crown as it was like a rock and I glared
at my dinner plate and noticed the pettles of a flower on the plate. It made
me smile and relax a bit.
As I went to bed that night, a lot of stuff unwound and I understood
something very deep that had been with me for too long for me to care for
anymore.
Very beautiful... Hell is like a small box and finding a way to surrender to
become full again is part of the puzzle out.
With love,
Rich
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