To: K-list
Recieved: 2003/09/02 16:31
Subject: Re: [K-list] trying to talk about awakening/Beat Up
From: Paul Perner

> [Original Message]
> From: <Druout AT_NOSPAM aol.com
>
> Ah the double pain of guilt and fear! And how painful it is to see
someone
> we care about go through it! But go through it alone she must, I guess.


I'm afraid that might be the case. Alleged SRA is not
the only gigantic issue she's dealing with and I'm not the
only one who's run the course with her.


> And alas, it looks like she has now dashed her best hope (you).
>

I decided not to cut her off completely yet. We go
too far back. Like her, I also have to learn to
set some new boundaries.

Just a couple nights ago she ask me to pray with
her... ok, fine... but in the middle of the hour
long devotion in which she asked God to open my
eyes so I would get rid of the "pagan images" in
my house she looked at her CD player and said
(I roughly quote):

"...and Lord, this music device was given to me
by a person who was into Buddha and witchcraft.
Please help me to see if there are bad spirits
in it and help me get rid of it."

I looked at the player and saw a brand
new, beautiful, high quality stereo. Full
warrantee. No evil Buddha bogey spirits
included.

I sat there not saying a word. I just rolled
my eyes and felt for the good, generous person
who gave it to her (she's thrown away gifts before).

Then I new I must limit my time with her. There's
only so much a person can do.


> It sounds to me, though that she goes out of her way to bring pain upon
> herself. Perhaps she needed to break away from you because you were in
danger of
> helping her pull free--and she found the perfect excuse. Some people
seem to
> enjoy/be addicted to their own guilt/pain.
>

Thanks, you're not the only one who's said this.
She quietly knows that she's lost in victimhood.
She said she wants out, but I know that if I tell
her that her paranoid beliefs are keeping her
locked in, she just get defensive and back everything
up with Bible verses (give me a break!).

> Perhaps there is a good book out there that can help, but I'd guess
nothing
> short of serious therapy will pull her free from her past.
>

I agree, but get this: Last night she told me she
has gotten rid of all her self help books a long
time ago and has only kept her Bible. Depending
on those other books "are a lack of faith in
God's word."

We're talking hard core here.

She has a therapist, but alas... a Christian
therapist who validates her SRA for her!!!
(aarrgg!)


> Or maybe a dose of Kundalini! :))
>

That would be wonderful, but if she had a full
blown awakening... watch out world! A female
Krakatoa volcano of K psychosis will be unleashed!
She will be healed, but wow, what an event!

A six foot tall woman with a deep, booming, professional
folk-rock singer voice exorcising her own demons and
declaring her freedom to the whole universe!

In a word: Yes!

Paul


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