To: K-list
Recieved: 2003/08/31 19:53
Subject: RE: [K-list] trying to talk about awakening/Beat Up
From: Paul Perner

> [Original Message]
> From: elargonauto <elargonauto AT_NOSPAM ya.com
>
> But I?m getting tired of the game and I?m starting to prefer not to
tell
> anything and let them take their conclusions from what they see directly
> with their own eyes. You save long talks. :).


I can relate.

Oh dear K List friends, you have no idea what
I just put myself through starting with a
wacko, right wing extremist Christian group
who held a protest in my town last week.

I was on my to the bus stop when I encountered
the Westboro Baptist "Church" picketing the
taping of the Bob Hope tribute with big signs
saying "Fags Burn In Hell" "Hope in Hell" "God
Hates America" and "Thank God for 9/11."

They are an infamous hate cult that believes
that to gain salvation you must know God's wrath
and Satan's fire. People say just ignore them,
but it's hard when they're right in your face.

I had a brief, restrained, but very unpleasant
chat with one of them.... it left a queasy feeling
in my stomach for hours. It just so happened that
that day I was on way to visit a Christian
friend.

This friend is a beautiful, talented singer who has
gigantic guilt issues about having gone out of the
closet as a lesbian and she believes she was a
victim of Satanic ritual abuse (I've looked into
this and her story doesn't match up, but she
clings to it and if you try to help her out of it,
that means that you, too, must be in league with
The Dark One).

Anyway, my telling her about the picket signs
pushed a lot of buttons. She's a modern person
on one side and a trembling fundamentalist on the
other.

She dropped me off at my house and I invited her
in (she has visited before). My girlfriend was
home and was excited to meet a true legend in the
song writing world (her CD is a classic). She
treated us to a number on the piano... the evening
was wonderful... then she saw my Wicca books and
she changed her tune. Her voice lowered and she
said, "I think I better go now..."

Last night we talked on the phone and things
disintegrated into - "You say you had this spiritual
awakening, yet you still have these vehicles of
Satan in you house... you are (this) you are (that)
......" and so on.

I've known this person for years, we used to
date casually and have always been open about
everything. The day before she mentioned how she
always felt insecure about her looks. I'm mention
that I had a beautiful dream in which at one point
we made love. She just smiled and it seemed to
sit well with her.

Now she says I "violated" her body with "unclean
thoughts." That dream was real and it meant a
lot to be able to tell her about it. Now I'm some
kind spiritual rapist.... give me a break!

I feel used. I was attracted to this person for
a number of reasons. The first was genuinely spiritual.
She really does have the light in her eyes. She still
does, but religious superstition is tormenting her.

I shouldn't try to change her. I been down this
road with her before... but this time is the
last. I'll be a part of a long list of people
(including a couple record companies) she's
alienated.

What a strange holiday weekend it's been.
The shouts of those fundie protesters are
fading from my mind. Summer's ending and
I need a long lazy, afternoon to do
nothing with.

Sometimes I feel like this whole human
race are a bunch of psychos (myself
included). My heart goes out to the plants and
animals that have to share this biosphere
with us.

In closing, I just want to thank the good
people of the K list for being here. As
much as my awakening freed me from old
baggage, I'm still human and have a need
to communicate.

Dreams, work, pleasure and pain... I'll take
it. Just spare me the hate and fear.

Love (oh, yes, love),

Paul
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