To: K-list 
Recieved: 2003/08/19  05:25  
Subject: Re: [K-list] Sharing (was Meditation) 
From: Julie D
  
On 2003/08/19  05:25, Julie D posted thus to the K-list: 
  
 
 
Hi Hety & List, 
 
You wrote: 
>>>With every e-mail I read on this list, I learn more about myself.  After 
reading your post, Julie, I remembered being taken to the emergency room, at 
age 20, for intense pain and spasms in my lower back/pelvis area.  I had to 
convince my husband, at the time, to take me!  Nothing was found -- 
absolutely nothing.  I forgot this episode until I read your e-mail.<<< 
 
Sounds painful.  I have had many lower back pains.  They occur at my coccyx 
and started just after I became sexually active.  I still get them. I see 
these now as a blocking of the upward movement of energy.  The first time it 
happened was excruciating and I was awake all night. Before K awakened I had 
the duration down to about two hours by conscious muscle relaxation 
techniques. These days I can consciously move the energy up within a few 
minutes.  It's still painful while it lasts though.  The unusual thing about 
it happening at the gym was that I was in full motion when it occurred and 
that I consciously registered energy movement and consciously moved to block 
it.  Every other time it  has happened while I was sitting or, more often, 
lying down and I was unaware of energy moving.  Often they would wake me in 
the middle of the night. 
 
I learn more about myself with reading posts on this list too.  For me, the 
creative process  changes us in two ways.  The first is the conception, and 
in this case the writing, as I grope for words and try to make vague 
concepts solid,  The second is seeing that concept reflected through the 
response of someone else.  Whether the response is positive or negative as I 
take it  into myself my understanding grows.  I have been keeping a journal 
for years, so much of the work of refining, grounding and integrating my 
experiences has already been done, although writing about them again now 
brings a new type of synthesis too.  The creative process works in reverse 
to.  As you state your idea's and I take them in I see how they fit with my 
understanding and experience.  As I respond I am forced to refine and 
solidify anything that is too abstract.  Unconscious contents become 
conscious in the process and a synthesis of ideas occurs.  From my 
perspective it seems like a win/win event providing we remember our 
intention is to communicate.  Sometimes this type of sharing seems to 
deteriorate into a point scoring exercise and the value of communicating is 
deminished or lost.   I also think we loose a lot of potential benefits by 
withholding.  Sometimes I think of it as a jigsaw puzzle and all of us are 
holding pieces.  If we don't offer them up then the picture won't be 
completed. 
 
>>>Certainly I haven't experienced any "satisfaction" in telling anyone 
about 
what's been going on with me.  Or it's dilute or even off-putting.  It's 
like explaining an OBE, or even a lucid dream to someone who hasn't 
experienced it.  Experience.  There ya go, right?  Can you imagine what St. 
Paul or St. Bernadette or even Jesus went through?  ;-)  Go figure!  Here, 
we're experiencing the stuff of miracles and no one believes...<<< 
 
Yes, incredible isn't it.  I think the body of those who believe is growing. 
In the examples you used above dreaming is a common experience that can be 
used as a foundation.  Then you can add the extra's from that point. 
Although an exact understanding mightn't develop, one that approximates the 
actual experience could certainly be acheived in a person who was open to 
new horizons.  The people I am studying with are like that and I have 
decided, after this series of emails, to share a lot more with them.  These 
last emails have been incredibly satisfying for me as they have helped 
crystalize a group of  values that I have just realized are very high on my 
hierarchy of values and your feedback has had a lot to do with that.  Thank 
you.  I have found sharing my experiences here satisfying. 
 
It is a group that shares common **experiences.**  There is  a common ground 
of understanding that can be a foundation for further development.  It seems 
to me that all growth develops along these lines.  From the seed to the bush 
to the rose.  From the common experience, to the understanding, to the 
communion. 
 
>>>Back to same thing -- change what is inside of YOU and change the 
world.<<< 
 
True but share what's inside of you and give the gift of your perspective to 
someone else as you receive theirs.  In a way it's a giving and receiving of 
our uniqueness and our personal contribution to the universe. 
 
>>>Don't even try to explain to those whose "ears are closed and eyes are 
blind!" <<< 
 
I don't think that applies here, though.  Do you? 
 
>>> I believe they will wake up "in time" and until then, my responsibility 
is to my Self.<<< 
 
For me, the Self (capital S) includes all others. 
 
Personal responsibility for me includes the realization that what I say and 
do has an impact on others, whether I am speaking or acting consciously or 
not.  I believe that any act that  promotes open community helps to unify 
the world and brings each of us closer to recognising our underlying unity 
with all that is. 
 
Thanks! 
 
Warmest regards, 
Julie. 
 
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