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To: K-list
Recieved: 2003/03/31 18:12
Subject: [K-list] Blue Pearl
From: Janet Brockett

On 2003/03/31 18:12, Janet Brockett posted thus to the K-list:

Dear Diedra

My heart goes out to you. Any difficult issue concerning children always hurts to the bone as I know well. Great suffering can cause a Kundalini Awakening which is what I suspect happened to you. You did exactly the right thing by crying all night. I cry a lot in meditation. Often in meditation very painful emotions and images come up. It is purifying to feel them as fully as possible and then let them go. It is hard to because sometimes the feelings, for me anyway, are feeling of absolute desolation. Being punched in the face would be easier to take. However if you can let the feeling come up and pass then there is a space for, dare I say Joy if only a subtle feeling. I have been told that God is in the now so that by letting whatever is happening for you be fully experienced is a way of opening to God. I have also read that suffering is a way that God has of calling his/her children home. Useful thoughts for me anyway. Right now I am coming out of a dark three day depression concerning my stepchildren whom I love as my own. Its complicated. I think also dealing with current pain concerning children also means dealing past issues of our own neglect etc... that is what makes it so damn hard.

Swami Muktananda talkes about the blue pearl in his book Kundalini- the secret of life. I am not a follower of his but I have read his book. Aparently seeing the blue pearl and working with that is of utmost importance so you might want to check out his book.

P.S. I am sure you know this but as his mother you do have legal rights. No mother should not be able to see her child on or around Christmas.


Janet


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