To: K-list
Recieved: 2003/03/02 22:28
Subject: [K-list] Newbee "coming out" :-)
From: Niklas
On 2003/03/02 22:28, Niklas posted thus to the K-list:
Hi folks,
I am new to the list, have been "lurking" for some weeks
and finally decided that the group seems to be a "freaky but
lovely bunch" :) - and it's time to step out into the open.
(I am not a native english-speaker... so please forgive my
somtimes weird sentences... I do my very best, I promise.)
I am in my early thirties working as a mixture of social-worker/
school-teacher (parttime). I have been on a journey into the
yoga (kind of hatha) for the last six years now. Did a longish
travel to india last year including an intense yoga-retreat with
the teacher I have known since I started with yoga. 30 days,
about 9 hours asana, pranayama, meditation each day. It was an
amazing and beautiful time. In a small, quite and secluded Ashram
in the Himalayas on the banks of the ganga...
In the last week of the retreat, Kundalini startet stirring...
and gentle but steady Kriyas are my daily companion since then
(about 11 months now). Rising Kundalini is definitely *not* a
goal taught by my teacher (although/because he is quite a
realized person himself). But after explaining what's happening to
me he told me I was established enough in my practice and my
pranayama was steady enough that I should not worry at all about
it in his opinion (but that I should not get hung up about it as
well :-)
I was quite disturbed first, because my original approach to
meditation and the yoga was more from a zen-point of view, giving
nothing for the "bells and whistles" of mystical experiences,
sometimes more viewing them as a made-up "mumbo-jumbo" of the
esoterical supermarket. So I found the somewhat "other" force
working in/along my spine without my doing very strange at first,
tried to stop or suppress it and kept asking myself if I might
just be doing it up for myself... you know the answer :) it
remained unstoppable, coming and going without my doing (that
means, I can suppres the kriyas but they keep coming back without
me noticing in the beginning).
I have made my peace with it for the moment, and rather regard
the kriyas as a daily reassuring sign of the slowly, gently
ongoing shift that is happening to me. Some strange and wonderful
things happened. Profound changes mentally and physically. The
process is full of bliss and at the same time sometimes majorly
disturbing as well. What else to expect of the shattering of the
view of the world I had before... :)
Alongside with the kriyas came a strong relation to the
devotional side of the practice that I didn't feel at all before
(being raised christian/protestant but having lost interest
in the picture of divinity presented by the christian church)
but which I feel now to be very precious.
Amazing grace...
I don't have concrete pictures in my head (naturally) but its
definitely a "she" at least partly or in most aspects. Lets call
her Kali, Shakti, Nature, Kundalini, ... (any of the thousand
names of the divine mother would suffice, I guess) but I don't
know enough about the tradition of these goddesses, and I am not
shure if I want to follow a certain tradition at all.
I have been doing my practice alone the last months, which is
beautiful in its way, because it brings a lot of independence.
But at the same time I feel I would love to contact a forum with
wich to share some thoughts from time to time, or just read some
thoughts from like-wise-minded beings for a start. And maybe I
can be of help to some other friends as well later.
Good to be "here" ... "now" :-)
Sending you love,
Niklas
To adjust your subscription or get a reminder of your password, visit:
http://kundalini-gateway.org/mailman/listinfo/k-list_kundalini-gateway.org
DISCLAIMER!
Home | Archive Index | Search the archives | Subscribe
K. List FAQ | Kundalini FAQs | Signs and Symptoms | Awakening Experiences | K. list Polls | Member Essays | Meditations | List Topics | Art Gallery | Cybrary | Sitemap | Email the moderators.
symbol.