To: K-list
Recieved: 2003/01/27 16:21
Subject: Re: [k-list] my dad
From: felix
On 2003/01/27 16:21, felix posted thus to the K-list:
On Sun, 26 Jan 2003 19:33:40 -0800 (PST)
Rita Metermaid <r1ta_metermaid AT_NOSPAM yahoo.com> wrote:
>
> Hello Felix and Shelle -
>
> On fathers... for me, I had no contact with my (birth)
> father from age 3 to 34, as well as with my (birth)
> mother. When I found them, I had anticipated forging a
> relationship with my mother, but that was not to be.
>
> However, my father and I did bond and stayed in touch
> for nearly a decade then, even despite that 30 year
> separation. Stranger things can and do happen every
> day. Just a thought.
Hi Rita,
It makes me happy you were able to get up with your dad and
form a working relationship, it seems to have made you feel
more complete and to have brought a sense of closure.
I don't seem to harbor any great or pressing desire to get
up with my kids. They are adults now, have their own lives,
and have to deal with the world the best way they can with
what they got to do it with.
There seems to be only one thing I would really like for
them to have, and that's freedom to be whatever it is that
they are. That, however, is about all I might want for
anybody.
Despite the fact that I have experienced many things exotic
such as kundalini and such, the only thing that seem to make
any real difference in my relationship with the world is the
understanding that I am an island. I can't control how the
world responds to whatever I do or say, and the world can't
control how I respond to it's efforts to control me. The
sensory world can do or say whatever it likes, but how I
respond to such stimuli is up to me.
I write this because all words and actions have to be
interpreted in the light of wot experiences I've endured
over the years. The experiences I compare the sensory data
that comes to me are themselves arbitrary and seemingly
haphazard, and not very reliable for making judgement of
the present sensory data stream. What really happened in the past could have been interpreted in any other way than the
way I did interpret, and this understanding that I could
have interpreted what happened in the past any other way puts
a big damper on me thinking I 'know' what did happen.
Knowledge seems to exist as a very funny thing. It appears
to be the illusion various pundits have suggested to be the
veil that separates one from what's real. Many or most only communicate with some symbolic 'idea' of reality rather than that which lies beyond thinking. One's knowledge of the
world doesn't seem to exist in some undefinable vacuum of
unchangingness, but appears created in the specious present
as a way of eating wot is sot before one extemporaneously.
I would like my children to have this understanding, but,
like their father, they will probably have to find it the
best way they can. If I tell them wot's what, they will only
hear what they think I'm saying, just as those who read this
post will read what they think I've written, each in their
own way.
felix
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