To: K-list
Recieved: 2003/01/26 06:48
Subject: [k-list] Poem referring to r*pe -- Was: Helping others... A dr
From: Rich

> Well, speaking only for myself, I wasn't offended, but
> it was a powerful, graphic image. It seemed like a
> metaphore or artistic license. I think if a woman had
> written that poem, it might have seemed a lot more
> literal? I am a rape survivor, myself, so it's a
> little emotionally charged if I think about it in a
> very literal sebse. But anyway, I wasn't offended - I
> don't knwo about anyone else.

I know how these people feel. I also was a rape survivor... Played havoc for
my self-worth and security around male's especially sex-craved ones... How
repulsed and sick I felt around those with highly charged sex chakras. Also
made me feel ill of my own body and feeling I'm not good enough for others.

Interesting thing is I wanted this experience at some level also..
Association with sex and love.. Idea that I would be more fulfilled from
this.. Funny how I think something is good for me but when it comes I can
end up in a new situation with new problems, seeking something else..
Something that I don't feel I have at any particular time... Get too much of
something and end up being overloaded or empty in other areas and after a
major loss (i.e. death) I'm spun out in a new direction. I learn some time
ago these are the goal-structures (or purposes) we move through between and
during lives. The Buddhists I think refer to it as the giant wheel of life.

Of course for those who can maintain emptiness and fill up on the inside
this isn't such a strong cycle to get caught up in, but for me the major
purposes and goals have a lot of energy behind them and can be hard to free
up, especially when they are layered with lifetime(s) of considerations and
charged experiences. I think many of them are subtle... Acting through them
but not seeing them.

I'm led to understand this cycle repeats itself over giant magnitudes of
time... On the insight project I used to do, we would list off all of the
current life goals (often called the 1,000's goal list), and then be able to
see behind the whole current life to pull out the main operating goal or
purpose, where everything else was glued on to. Often these were outside of
normal time and tended to hang around in a higher space like an itch that
can't be scratched.

Ties up a few things in my outward behavior of late, including my rhetoric
question to Acara.

Thanks for listening... Like Charles noticed when asking a question, the
answer are sometimes closer than you think... Maybe just asking is allowing
what's already there to come to the surface.

With love,

Rich

DISCLAIMER!

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