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To: K-list
Recieved: 2003/01/10 13:29
Subject: RE: [k-list] random thoughts as I unwind.. was Re: Oy!! Never d
From: Rich


On 2003/01/10 13:29, Rich posted thus to the K-list:

>
> Now we are 37. Welcome new/old members!
>
> I have to say again, it gave me a great deal of personal satisfaction
to
> have the K-list rise like a pheonix from the ashes, within hours of it
> being deleted. Reborn, in beauty.

That creativity! It's funny how working with computers which is
considered very left-brain can still be creative.
 
> I lay down for an hour this evening, tried to sleep... my body was
> quietly vibrating with Shakti clearing me. Kept getting interesting
waves
> of goosebumps moving up my torso, very pleasant... and a warm heart
glow.

I think you let go of an elusive burden at the same time ;)

> I have spent a little bit of time wondering what is the higher
purpose
> of all this, and I really have not come to any conclusions. Just no
energy
> to dig for reasons and tell myself stories. Thoughts appear, I watch
them,
> they wander out again.

Too much attachment to emptiness :) Made the list empty :) My guess is a
funny combination of projection.. In a bizarre way it's like a cosmic
joke.

> Shit happens, as Goddess Wills. Make lemonade. I wish I had
followed
> through on an impulse to download a copy of the member list yesterday,
but
> I did not, and that is that. The troll likes to think I ignore him out
of
> fear, well, so what? If what he thinks about me, was important to me,
I'd
> have responded to his extravagant efforts to get my attention, sooner.

His energy quite pervasive ... Interesting example that there are still
extremes in awakened people... We could use him as a text book reference
:) Funny to have such strange wiring and the power of K behind it.


> I do not know if this new list will ever reach the past total of
950
> members. I am not sure I would like for it to. I like the cozy
intimacy of
> a smaller group, and I sure do not miss all yahoo's adverts. It kind
of
> reminds me of the early K-list, back on execpc... even the list
management
> system is similar. A smaller group, again, except we all know each
other
> warmly.

Sounds nice... We can be intimate :) But new people should be welcomed
too! As we were all once a newbie.


> I also got some inspirations last week, that got me past the
writers
> block I have had with the books I have been working on. Hey, Richard,
it
> was telling you to take notes at the end of our chat, that sparked it!
> Thanks! I hope you do not mind my sharing...

Not at all.. It was funny you came back to tell me that though, so maybe
it was a message to you as well.

> Richard takes a trip to hell, regularly. His orbit. It always has
the
> same beginning, and I usually remind him of the exact same things to
haul
> him out again. So predictable, he might as well take notes, for next
time.

I'm going to mark on the calendar for the next one :) I'll plan in
advance :)

 
> After our chat, I started wondering about what kind of notes on the
> chat he/you would take, and started composing some in my head. "How
you go
> down the road to hell of good intentions", and "How to find the way
out
> again". In point form. Like a manual.

Yeah... I think it's finding a balance of technical points and stuff
people can relate to from real life. That is always the strongest way
I've found to present stuff.

> I recognise your pattern because I used to do the same thing! Get
> attached to something, get stuck in some astral world and forget how
to
> get out. Finally, kind of wrote myself a manual. Got to thinking about
> manuals.

Yeah... it's loosing touch of own center... I realized later I locked
myself out of my flat not too long before and it was at about the same
time I'd locked myself out of me...

It was a big struggle to get back in my flat with many obstacles.. Too
late for key-maker to come.. Other people say cost too much.. Friend not
call me back.. Another friend who said I could always call her wasn't
available etc.. Another friend was too busy having a good time so didn't
want to bring the problem on her... With enough desire and intention it
became a reality to get back in, and some people were happy to help.

I was relieved, grateful and appreciative of the familiarity of being
back in my own home after being locked out :) (Inner and outer)
> I realized that what I really wanted, was to give up trying to
build
> bridges between topics, and make a collage of all the bits. I needed
to
> write a manual. Most manuals are not linear, nor do most people read
them
> linearly. They have footnotes and tip boxes and quotes, subheaders
and
> diagrams and reminders and warnings... all kinds of stuff, with a thin
> thread of linearity of subject, chapter and topic. Absolutely perfect
for
> how I write! I got very excited about this idea, could not sleep and
had
> to write an outline immediately.

Yeah.. And easy to add/amend as new things pop up..

> I'm starting with an outline, and with learning how to properly use
> word2000. Format the book for printing, as I go, pasting bits into the
> appropriate chapters... and one day I'll decide, it is enough (like
how
> one does with a collage) get it proofread and send it off to Trafford
> publishing. It is a project with no timeline, no deadline... just
> enjoyment of the art.

Word can make it easy with the right header settings to automatically
create a table of contents/chapters and illustrations and references
etc...

> Sure, there will still be people asking for help, friends help each
> other... compassion is invaluable... but I have often thought the real
> value is simply in the company of like minds. Without the yahoo
> advertising, we will not be getting so many new members, and instead I
> would encourage people to share more about what is going on in their
> lives. Maybe even loosen up the guidelines a little.

I noticed one post came through as HTML.. That could make things more
colourful.. I don't know if pictures can be added as well... I guess
bandwidth maybe a consideration...

> This place always has a lot of humor and off topic sharing, it is
part
> of its charm. In the beginning, it was the only kundalini resource,
and
> now... it has birthed many children, grandchildren and deserves to
rest
> and smell the roses. Tend to the knitting...
>
> am I making any sense, or just raving fatigued? Feel free to
> disagree...

I think there can be a freshness here... For something new and wonderful
to evolve .. Not sure what though..

> I do find myself talking to him in my head, a bit... contemplating
how
> every action is love or a cry for love, wondering if the quality of my
> love was ... but I am not sure he would recognise love, if it bit him.

I thought part of it was a cry for help... I could imagine him as a fat
arse sweaty geek with a very dull sense of humour. Probably someone
without too much success in life relationships or situations. He
obviously has a good mind but his creativity maybe not to the taste of
others.

> He sure must love me a lot, to be so desperate for my
attention...;)

Perhaps infatuated with you.. Maybe this was his way to get closer to
you :)

> In many ways, I am kind of pleased with myself. Years ago, this sort
of
> thing would have really upset me. It would have triggered my ADD
> resistance reflex, and I'd have had no choice but war. Now... I get
> occasional impulses to write to him, to smack him or offer pity... but
I
> am so far preferring to deny him my responses.

I think he won't be through with you until he got your hardest spanking
:)

> I do appreciate other members sending complaints! From my phone
> conversation today, Yahoo has already made up their minds that I am
at
> fault, they did not have any record of anyone hacking my id, they
deleted
> the list and my profiles for some TOS thing I know I could not have
done,
> and they will not tell me what it was. I know I did nothing, but I
cannot
> prove it. So, might as well surrender to what Is.

Focusing on the value and usefulness of the group and any references
from old messages may be valid. Make for proof that it was (at least
more so at one time) a support group and this may help them to
re-consider.

Well thanks for your efforts and also to the moderators!

How about a house warming party :))

Rich

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