To: K-list
Recieved: 2002/12/14 21:09
Subject: [K-list] My introduction
From: zharzone <zharzoneATnospamyahoo.com>

Well...hello, as i assume that my introduction is not important in
this
part of my telling, i would like to go straight to the point that is
even new to me.

I have experienced almost every symptom in your manifestations and
signs list. In the questions that I asked myself what is happening to
me for many years I found no answer, but my strong belief in higher
force make me accept my life the way it is.

I am 22 years old, and my life has changed in so many ways which i am
about to tell now as I see tonight that I am not alone in this
happenings. Unaware and unwishfull in my young years i have always
found some greater explanation of things around me, not just in some
material and rational way, even though i always stayed strongly on
earth with my two feet. I had no big education about religion and
spiritual things at that part of my life, and not so strong desire.

I think that it is all started in '99 year because at that point I
started to lose control of my life. States of emotional changes could
not let me run 'normal' living. Great depression times equaled with
strong sense of happiness in some times was just an example of
fellings that i experienced. Thinking that I can not live like
this because it affected my studies, as I had no concentration for
studding, because it changed my relationship with my 'friends', even
thought i rearly found rejected it was clear and maybe always clear
that i am not like others in some very radical way.

First manifestation that i had was when I wrote one song that even I
cannot still understand. I awaked in the middle of the night
conscious standed up, sit in front of my computer and just typed, and
typed, totally aware that I dont know what meant the things that was
coming out of me into this poem. I have to point out that I havent had
greater tendencies for poetry in my life before.

Later on, the interest for reading, spiritual, and yoga had awakened.
As I have talent for drawing i was started to draw again, after maybe
5 years of drawing nothing. The ideas were just splashing my mind, and
my excitement intolerable for others looking me in this new light. But
others manifestations was giving me no peace. In such psychical state
I
was not able to constantly do things I had to do every day as I was
studding architecture in Belgrade.

I given the pressure on everything when i tried psiho-active
substances. It change forever my view on things around me. With the
people that i met, i think i could see their lives in seconds just
looking at them. At some point I thought that i should take this
substances actively, so i avoided.

In everything that was happening to me, the breakthrough got me when
the book 'Awakening' by Antoni De Melo reached my hands. The
astounding liberation was fulfilling my spirit. Fear has gone, and
some strange felling, or presence was telling me that everything was
ok. As time goes I learned so much about myself, and i am just letting
it go, even thought it is giving me hard times, i realized that i must
not fear but learn. The message that i carry is only that it is
important, I have to go to the end of this road, so i can tell.

I would like to mention that great impact on my spirit has lefted
the movie 'fight club'.
At this point of life, i am drawing a comic with very spiritual
message in it, which opens from me in every day. There are many
activities i am trying to take, but sometimes it is not in my control,
as i still dont know many things.

My name that i love to use is Zharzone Psycoder, i live in Serbia, and
i would like to find more about Kundalini. I can say that only destiny
has brought me to ur gruop, as I haved no clue about others. In my
search for song Delirum-Silence i found your link which had no song
but something that i didnt know i was looking for.

 
May the force be with you,
 Zharzone mailto:psycoderATnospamptt.yuP.S. Sorry on bad english

http://www.kundalini-gateway.org
http://www.domin8rex.com/serpent/spirit/kindex.htm

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