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To: K-list
Recieved: 2002/10/21 22:38
Subject: [K-list] Re: feeling awful (and blah/blah/blah)
From: HSV & AAL


On 2002/10/21 22:38, HSV & AAL posted thus to the K-list:

Thank you so much to Holly, Steve, and Rachel... and anyone
else who responded to me that I may have missed or forgotten.
(I have a minute memory. Hey, that's a pun! *giggle*)

To Rachel: I forget, too often, to breathe. And it's so
damn easy to wallow in the warmth of depression. It becomes
like a blanket. You know how you hate to get out of the warm
bed in the winter to go get ready for work/school? It's just
like that. I've been through depression so many times, and
I was lucky enough in one bout of it to recognize that blanket.
I would have never thought that depression could be comforting.
But I guess that's how it's able to hang on for so long. If
it were something repulsive, uninviting, or uncomfortable, you
would do anything and everything to get away from it. But it
doesn't make it that easy on you. It's a very good thing that
I'm terrified of pain and of screwing up my kid's life and
heart, otherwise the daemon would have claimed me long ago.

To Rachel and Steve: (I keep trying to type Stephen.. that's
my son's name) Thanks for the info on the book. How much is
it and can I find it in a regular book store or should I look
on eBay or something? Also, would his book happen to be on-
line so that I could read it here at my computer?

To Holly: You've been a benevolent warmth to me. You were
sweet and helpful and generous. Thank you so much.

To all:
After posting my note, I expected to be admonished and to
have my words ripped to shreds because I'd said some rather
harsh things. I was afraid to look at the list until today
for fear of seeing how many people had jumped on my post and
told me how wrong I was. Don't get me wrong.. I don't see
the members here as cruel or mean. It's just that I know
so little and in my ignorance (not to mention my difficulty
with putting things into the right words), I end up saying
things that are wrong or offensive. If I did, please accept
my most humble apologies. And I'm so sorry for assuming the
worst. I was wrong.

About the kitties:
I'm still waiting for Thursday. That's when the culture
should be finished testing for ringworm. But the antibiotics
seem to be really helping the mother kitty's raw tummy area.
And about washing my hands with hot water on a regular basis,
there's no worry about that. My OCD insists I do that all
the time anyway. My hands are dry and like sandpaper because
of it. My forehead is a bloody pulp, though.

Oh no... panic attack... gotta go lay down.

Happy full moon day.

HOlly


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