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To: K-list
Recieved: 2002/09/17 17:21
Subject: [K-list] I killed my ego... now what ??
From: IndigoGreen9

On 2002/09/17 17:21, IndigoGreen9 posted thus to the K-list:

Okay... I'm 33yo and turned off my empathy when I was 12yo by not
crying when I should have.

Well... Earlier this year I walked into my shadow and all I felt was
a blend of fear and love (but not love in the sense of warmth) for
about two months straight, but could never cry... the emotions came
and went for another 2 months in waves and one morning I released
those tears from 21 years ago. I smelled burning wood (karma) and my
heat/smoke detector went off. I thought my house was on fire !

Over this summer I experienced the death of my ego. I am the fool
who walked into himself. This was totally terrifying, since I
resisted the entire time. The love of a million suns is terrifying
if you've never felt the simple warmth of another person. The energy
has almost dissapated from my head. Is the worst over ? I've found
the secret of Magick as I wanted as a child. Now what ? I've felt a
few sensations of warmth coming from other people.

My question is... is this just normal human warmth ?? I know I will
become more sensitive to this... but what is it I am experiencing ?
Normal warmth or what ?

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