To: K-list 
Recieved: 2002/08/06  16:34  
Subject: Re: [K-list] Digest Number 1131 
From: Onlycycles
  
On 2002/08/06  16:34, Onlycycles posted thus to the K-list:  
In a message dated 8/6/02 3:22:28 PM, shellelrATnospamaol.com writes:
 
<< whoops, clicked send accidentally.  Where was I?  Couldn't swallow, I  
think.   
Anyway, Gregor, I saw eleven doctors over that year and all they could come  
up with was cfs.  I cleaned up my act, stopped all medications and have  
gradually overcome a lot of my fatigue problems by simply not fighting this  
process I'm in.  I have accepted that I must rest more than I used to.  I  
rearranged my life to accomodate my body's demand that I lie down for a while  
in the middle of the afternoon, and now I have periods of pretty heavy  
hypnagogic activity during these "naps" that I think are the reason for the  
fatigue.  To force me to lie down and experience the energy and be "worked  
on," if that makes sense.  Interestingly, the spiritual part of the whole  
deal didn't start for me till after a year and a half of miserable "mystery  
illness."  Then I started having extraordinary dreams and understandings,  
started finding stuff about kundalini online and recognized my experience in  
those of others.
 
So Gregor, my advice is: don't fight it.  Accomodate it.  Be grateful for the  
changes it is forcing on you.  There is probably some kind of great wisdom  
behind it.  I bet when you stop looking at it as a flaw or illness, stop  
fighting it, everything will improve.
 
with love, 
Shelle 
 >>
 
Hmm, weird-I had times when I felt sucked dry-where I wouldn't have the  
energy to think as I'd like to, energy not only lacking in body, and mind,  
but also awareness. When I closed my eyes, this always came to me as  
something was pulling the energy away-sometimes I'd see someone drawing,  
sometimes I'd see someone's house. I don't necessary think someone was  
purposely trying to take anything, it may have been something completely  
different-they way I got myself back though, was simply breathing in, sucking  
my energy back in. The reasons for our fatigue may have come from two  
completely different sorces-so dealing with it is probably something we have  
to do on our own terms.
 
I read the first book in the Lord of the Rings when I started K. So I often  
looked at these occurrences like the spiders stealing the dwarves away. We  
are spiritual creatures, we have energy systems, I have a hard time believing  
that I am supposed to feel tired, and fatigued. It is a negative thing to me,  
so I work to beat it. I still fall into little lapses every now and then  
though, perhaps twice a day. Then I just have to remember I am in control of  
my own energy, and that there is plenty of source to go around..Breathing  
helps a lot too...Try experiments. Sometimes breath in slowly to breath out  
faster than the inhale, not only during meditation, but during your daily  
life...Then try the opposite, breath in sharply, and exhale slowly.  
Understanding little systems like this can help greatly.
 
What has helped me the most through K. and the less appealing side effects is  
not going out and looking for other folk's great experience. Just looking at  
my self. Realizing how this position effects my brain state, how that  
position effects my awareness. Understanding, through experimentation, rather  
than belief in someone else's own personal experiments.
 
   
 
 
 http://www.kundalini-gateway.org  
http://www.domin8rex.com/serpent/spirit/kindex.htm 
  
 
 
 
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