To: K-list
Recieved: 2002/07/04 06:51
Subject: Re: [K-list] Digest Number 1078
From: Shellelr

In a message dated 7/2/2002 11:45:37 PM Eastern Daylight Time,
K-list writes:> So now that I'm thinking, perhaps I've withdrawn myself back towards
> grasping the "real" world.. and holding onto my life out of fear. I
> believe I have lost what tiny amount of surrender and contentment I
> may have at one point had or lived as, I don't know how to explain
> it.

Keith, I've been feeling pretty disconnected, too. I haven't been meditating
or doing yoga because I started a new job last month and really needed to
stay grounded for it, and also for my child. My concern as her mother keeps
me from no holds barred spiritual exploration. A year ago I was barely
hanging on to my sense of self, was on sensory overload, having dreams that
came true and cycling through fear after fear. I simply can't take good care
of my daughter and be present for her when I'm that way. So I've become much
more mundane and have lost a great deal of the feeling of the divine with me
and in me that I was experiencing. I still am doing spiritual reading and I
pray, I record and think about my dreams, I try to always be honest, and I do
volunteer work. I'm hoping Spirit won't let me slip away from my connection
completely. Instead of daily energetic activity when I nap I experience it
once a week or so, and the last time it was more painful in a blockage way
than pleasurable, as it usually has been. I do believe at times this is just
a necessary phase and that I am still in process in ways I do not always see.
 Perhaps the profound connections I have with my daughter and husband are my
spiritual path. I know they must be.

I sometimes imagine some day in the future when I might be able to become in
some way monastic without abandoning anyone, and with their love and
understanding or acceptance.

Shelle

http://www.kundalini-gateway.org
http://www.domin8rex.com/serpent/spirit/kindex.htm

DISCLAIMER!

---

Home | Archive Index | Search the archives | Subscribe

K.  List FAQ | Kundalini FAQs | Signs and  Symptoms | Awakening Experiences | K. list Polls | Member Essays | Meditations | List Topics | Art Gallery | Cybrary | Sitemap | Email the moderators.

Feel free to submit any questions you might have about what you read here to the Kundalini mailing list moderators, and/or the author (if given). Specify if you would like your message forwarded to the list. Please subscribe to the K-list so you can read the responses.

All email addresses on this site have been spam proofed by the addition of ATnospam in place of the symbol.

All posts publicly archived with the permission of the people involved. Reproduction for anything other than personal use is prohibited by international copyright law. ©

This precious archive of experiential wisdom is made available thanks to sponsorship from Fire-Serpent.org.

URL: http://www.kundalini-gateway.org/klist/k2002b/k200203666.html