Kundalini Gateway Email List Archives

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To: K-list
Recieved: 2002/06/09 05:54
Subject: Re: [K-list] Lies striking back now part 2
From: lillianferracone


On 2002/06/09 05:54, lillianferracone posted thus to the K-list:

Hi Asa., I certainly admire you. It take tremendous strength of character
and intellect to do what you are doing. Sincerely, Lillian
----- Original Message -----
From: a.s.a.lt;spiruATnospamhome.se>
To: <K-list >
Sent: Friday, June 07, 2002 6:03 PM
Subject: Re: [K-list] Lies striking back now part 2

Actually at the time this happened, Nothing mattered to me..
 The drugs kept me "alive" for short periods of time.. Heh, I didnt want to
think about how to get out of the mess I created for myself.. About in
january-february I attempted suicide, didnt see another way out then, and
didnt want to take responsability for myself, didnt have the strenght yet..

I survived, and after that I asked myself a question.. ego-death or physical
death? And I reminded myself of that there is no escape, gotta take my
responsability sooner or later. Maybe you can guess what my choice was.. ;)
 Have been in psychotic episodes and depression, since the mirror got bigger
and bigger and uglier and uglier.. but have not been to any psychologist,
and didnt want to get any help from medicines, since that is all illusion..
No more lies, I said.
 It is really kewl to look back now, cause I didnt see myself as neither
depressed or psychotic, but now I realized I was.. I thought it was pure
bliss just to be able to look at everything from the directors chair..
Although my brain and body have had a really tough time with self-healing
and detox..
I Have really been working withmyself on all planes to get where I am
today.. I'm eternally grateful for the strenght I have been given to go
through this.. and I am thankful for having the opportunity to communicate
on this list.. :)

Goodnight folks,


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