To: K-list
Recieved: 2002/05/28 12:43
Subject: Re: [K-list] Inquiring mind would like to know
From: bhutanbodhi
On 2002/05/28 12:43, bhutanbodhi posted thus to the K-list:
Hi Jill,
Well, your view seems like your feeling as if the road is impossible
or too difficult to cross...
--- In Kundalini-GatewayATnospamy..., "Jill Jones" <jill.jonesATnospams...> wrote:
> Frankly, i've been asking myself the same question, of late. It
>seems like there's too much information, too many different things
to
>consider, too many different things to study, too many different
>opinions, too many different things to remember, focus on, clear,
let
>go of.
Well, the things you/others let go of are only objects of thought,
which help you become clear. Sometime focusing on remembering too
many different things and opinions causes you/others to consider
whether or not it is worth investigating all the information that is
availble. I've found that it's not easy either, but what is really
funny is that some of the really easy things that i used to find were
the reasons why i am generally suffering. Meditation helps, if you
know how to do it. It just takes practices, just like everything
else, you could also view as an art form too.
>Too much.
what exactly is overwhelming you?
>Every group I have tried getting involved with has
>been the wrong one for me.
how so? Is it possible it was the wrong groups at the right time? or
right groups at the wrong time? Maybe you don't need a group to join
in order to find what you are looking for, could that be a
possibility?
>I lack discipline.
According to whose rules?
Even if you truly feel the lack of discipline, at least you are aware
of it, some don't even get that far. I find there are many times
that
i'm more 'disciplined' at being undisciplined.
>I'm too far away from
>"civilization" to be able to find a mentor/guru/teacher that feels
>right, and if I did, they'd probably charge me an arm and a leg for
>services rendered, because this is, after all, a capitalist society,
>and everyone has to be able to buy bread, milk, pay the mortgage,
buy
>gasoline, ad nauseum.
I hear yah, i don't even qualify for welfare...well, not just yet.
My energy levels are too unstable for me to go look for work, so it
kind of is working against me in the aspect of being able to truly
gain a experientail understanding of certain practices. But like you
said there is lots to learn, so choose to learn what i can from what
i
can. It seems that capitalism isn't suited for enlightenment of the
poor, mind you, there may be some 'exceptions' out there somewhere,
maybe even within you.
> I'm frustrated and tired. Maybe I just won't "make it" this life.
Well, i'm pretty sure i won't make it either, i view it as my stuck
up
nature towards the bourgeiosie and the power structure. Ignorance is
bliss, i also hope i'll gain a perpective of the really ignorant
elite
as to why they are the way they are...but then i'm always reminded of
the human condition. And the zen saying...before enlightenment i ate
and shit, after enlightenment i still ate and shit.
it really isn't anything special...
but is beyond the mundaneness of modernness.
or somewhere inbetween nowhere and now here...
p.s. how do you feel after you have rested and your frustration has
subsided?
what were the causes of frustration and tiredness?
what do you consider "'make it' this life" to be?
erik
http://www.kundalini-gateway.org
http://www.domin8rex.com/serpent/spirit/kindex.htm
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