To: K-list
Recieved: 2002/05/15 08:17
Subject: [K-list] ...then the serpent appeared
From: Daniel Roussin
On 2002/05/15 08:17, Daniel Roussin posted thus to the K-list:
Dear everyone,
Monday, all day I felt restless inside, in a way that I do before
something special happens. I went to the closest yoga center hoping to
find someone to talk to. I went in and asked if there might be a teacher
or someone, anyone I might just chat with about my situation to be sure
that I'm doing all that I should be, walking through this path alone,
most of the time (or so it seems). Then appeared a lovely man
who decided to offer me some of his time. I thought I had found someone
I could come to in times of mental strain as is appears to me that the
major thing that brings obstacles through this process comes from the
mind, the Ego if you will. Oh, that word! I'm sure that at one point or
another we have all backed off when seeing or hearing it. Perhaps most
of the struggle and the harder times are but illusions sent by the ego.
Even the whole "I'm not worthy" thing: false modesty. And it'll probably
be still a long time before I discover all the games it plays, if ever
one day I think I'm safe and sound fom it...I wonder. So this lovely man
at the yoga center believes that the major role in a teacher is usually
to deal with our mind and helping us in taming it, getting it back on
track when needed. So I figured, wow! this guy would be the one. I then
found out that he was temporarily here visiting from the Bahamas (I'm in
Canada and not too well financially endowed). Well, just the story of my
life repeating itself. For some reason I am to go through this journey
mostly alone. I do stress on mostly as I know that we never are truly
alone, that too is just an illusion. I wonder about the pain sometimes
though. And as others have, I too have judged myself sometimes for
experiencing this pain for years that of course, no doctor can really
identify at all. they call it fibromyalgia most of the time (meaning
pain in the muscles...great!, but is however apparently associated
directly with K from what I hear). Anyway, I know that it is not
necessary in every K case but it seems that it is part of my path and
there came a point were I simply started observing it as we come to
observe our Self, without judging. I discovered recently that part of
the reason for it is that it will serve me in helping others who are
suffering. It goes beyond this, (it's a whole other long story) but just
to give an example:"I know what you are living" kind of thing. The first
time I heard a guy say that in sickness, one should embrace the
suffering. I then thaught: this guy has lost it and should live a day in
my shoes. Buy as crazy as it seemed then, it doesn't anymore. Things
don't get to me the way they used to, I just don't seem to mind. All
that I mind about more that ever are the trees, the wind, the sky, the
birds, music, kindness...and most of all: Being, sitting still,
savouring here and now and feeling so filled with life.
And so the snake appeared...
Later that day around 1AM I was in bed and suddenly felt a strong need
to meditate.
I sat comfortably within myself, contemplating the life within me,
savouring
the sweet sound of the rain, feeling as one with the wind blowing.
I let myself go through the fantasy of speaking, sharing, riding with a
lovely horse.
Then the nectar came again with its sweet and sour taste coating my
throat, like a promise of continuation of this bliss. Tremors started
through my whole spine.
And then the face of the serpent appeared in front of my face,
staring right into my eyes, opened his mouth, I saw his teeth. I wasn't
afraid.
Then he closed his eyes and mouth and brought his head down in a humble
and peaceful manner.
That is when I started not only feeling the serpent embracing me along
my spine and covering my head, but I was becoming the serpent. My arms,
my legs, till
I had no more sense or perception of my body anymore, like a
transfiguration.
Only the serpent's body was, I became part of it.
It took a long time for the illusion to leave (or return...) and the
perception of
my body to start coming back. I still have flashes from time to time of
being one with it.
Dear everyone, I thank you kindly for your time and presence.
Peace and Love in All,
Julie
http://www.kundalini-gateway.org
http://www.domin8rex.com/serpent/spirit/kindex.htm
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