To: K-list
Recieved: 2002/04/08 21:04
Subject: [K-list] Help
From: Jmk
On 2002/04/08 21:04, Jmk posted thus to the K-list:
Thank you all for being here. Words can't express how thankful I am for
this list. I have been lurking since posting my awakening story. I would
really appreciate some input, help, advice - anything to get back to
functioning somewhat "normally."
In short: my partial awakening, two years ago this June, stopped at the
heart. I know it is a great blessing and to say it has changed my life is
a gross understatement. Yet I can't seem to function in the "real" world
anymore. I'm completely on my own, used to earn decent money and have now
blown through my savings, am essentially destitute and about to loose my
apartment. There is no way I can go back to my past work life. Haven't a
clue as to how to proceed as I am completely burnt out. Attempting to
function while (this is the short list) seeing "things" zip around the
room, feeling other's emotions, energy running like water through me,
inability to sleep at night, chakras open and/or spinning, having energy
waves hit like electric power surges, big weight gain, a ray of energy
(which I can sometimes see, any insight on this would be most welcome btw)
hitting my big left toe and spreading throughout etc, etc, etc... (This
could easily turn into a rant. How about blowing out lamps and lightbulbs?
Four in a row is my best run yet. See your chakras and have meditation
experiences without meditating? Me too!)
I try mightily not to talk about it anymore, except to a few good friends
and transpersonal shrinks which I can't afford anymore anyway and often
make me feel like their own personal science experiment. In fact one of
them didn't want to work with me as he felt he couldn't deal with the
energy coming off me - his words. Much to my consternation have recently
given up reading spiritual texts as that really gets the energy going.
Has anyone been to Joan Shivarpita Harrigan's Patanjali Kundalini Yoga
Care? Should I try to do some kind of retreat? It has been hard editing
this mail down as I could go on ad infinitum and am sick of being
self-obsessed (not the way I used to be though.) I'm desperate and really
looking forward to hearing from the list.
Most sincerely,
Jennifer
http://www.kundalini-gateway.org
http://www.domin8rex.com/serpent/spirit/kindex.htm
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