To: K-list
Recieved: 2002/03/23 01:08
Subject: Re: [K-list] awakening
From: stjerna24
On 2002/03/23 01:08, stjerna24 posted thus to the K-list:
Thank you very much Hillary and Karen, for answering!
It has been frightening, because the process was very physical, and
still is.
> Fearing that one is going mad,
> Fearing loss of the ability to concentrate, or do day to day
activities,
> Fearing inevitable change,
> Seeing visions that one interprets as negative entities--
fearing "possession"
> Physical problems such as headaches, fatigue or intestinal
discomfort,
>
> the list goes on.
All of this, and metabolism problems, problems with eyes/sight, all
senses stronger and changing - I lost my ability to see, move and was
numb all over, had to use all my will power to be able to breathe -
this problems breathing lasted for months - in the acute hour. After
that all this kept coming back in periods including heart
disturbanse, lost ability to use my fingers and arms, still have
problems with cold/heat, memory,.... - I now remember my name and who
I am - was very scary not to know that!!! It started, however, very
nice, with beautiful experiences, visions, all this information
coming, geometric figures, all-over-orgasms, colors, seeing energies
in people, nature, seeing the nature and life as geometric figures,
codes, numbers... very exciting and very special. I thought this was
natural, and felt very good about it. But then all the scary things
started. No one could tell me what it was. And now that I know, I
feel it starting again. I had to go through the fear of my own death
every night, but that was better than being awake - because I
could'nt separate realities - and which one was the real physical
reality. This is what is scaring me - will this come back. I can't
meditate - I lose contact with earth when I do that. And I have to
use all my will power to focus on what is here, around me. Being
around more than a few people is very disturbing, very confusing, and
I lose grounding very easy. Have to be on my own to get grounded
again. Which is difficult, because my children need a social life,
and so do I. I also need to work, and find it difficult to do so,
because everything is confusing, especially dealing with other people
in a job situation.
Just sharing, I guess, because people around me just think I am
crazy, lazy, weak,..... :-). It is very good to read what you write
in here, I find a lot of useful writing, describing the process, and
I see that I am not alone in this. Makes me feel more sane!
Thank u for listening!
Regards to everyone,
Rhianna
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