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To: K-list
Recieved: 2002/03/12 16:15
Subject: [K-list] Living in Death
From: isis robins-shaw

On 2002/03/12 16:15, isis robins-shaw posted thus to the K-list:

Dear K-list,

I am moving out of the home I share with my husband and we are going to implement a new form of being in relationship with each other. From now on we will be primary partners and also be free to have other lovers.
We have both been in K process for the last couple of years and he has felt full of hatred for the last 5 or so. He experiences no gratitude or joy, but we have managed to sustain a heart centered and quite wonderful relationship. Being around him, however, there is a feeling of stagnancy that has become almost tangible to me.
Recently K gave me hives all over my body with the message of "clean up your loose ends" and they didn't go away until I owned up to how my living situation was affecting me. I was also made painfully aware of how I feel limited by monogomous relationships, not by being presented with a potential new partner, but by making me own up to my life long feelings.
I feel like Kali has ripped my illusions of who I am and how I should live apart. I feel shredded, overwhelmed, and heavy with a sense of death.
Phil, my husband, and I are hanging in there but I am miserable and so is he. We are both living our worst fears out in ways we cannot even perceive. I am wondering if anyone has had a simaler experience in their relationship or within themselves. I am just feeling so exhausted on every level any feedback would help.

Thanks,
Isis



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