Kundalini Gateway Email List Archives

line

To: K-list
Recieved: 2002/02/18 16:10
Subject: [K-list] re: the spirit of god
From: Soitpp


On 2002/02/18 16:10, Soitpp posted thus to the K-list:

> hi Patrick,

> welcome to the list... i am curious about what you mean by "make
> judgement"... in my experience, my life flows so much better when i observe
> without judgement... but i don't want to make a judgement about what you
> mean... so please elaborate further..

I think he means he's here to kick shit, Yah :)

WRITE WRONG WRITE WRONG WRITE WRONG WRITE WRONG WRITE WRONG dammit

> could be just me that's not open to or not ready for thier wisdom

> Kundalini check list -------- I thought i seen somewhere " intolerance for
> stupidity "
> i'm just not strong enough in the patiance and compassion area yet and i
> know exposure is where i can get the practice. a little at a time--- until
i
> can develop
> it just seems that thier amusements usually comes at anothers expense. ie
> jokes.

The Red Hot Chile Peppers said back when "If you see me taking drugs, knock
me down, I aint thinkin right"
So knock em down! They're funked up on the toob, tough love feels good for
you too
DOOOOOOOOOM
 (no silly that's just Dom with alot of O's)

I didn't leave!

Isis I get my info from the etherical realm of childhood. This is why I know
things like who is an indigo and who is not. It's sometimes hard for me to
process information because I'm not used to being on top of it. I've been a
wimp my whole life letting EVERYONE and their uncle walk all over me. Because
">>this<<" was too big, too decadent!! I couldn't possibly .. give them >>
this<< so I could only submit... submit.. submit..
It's hard for me to know who someone is right away. I have to really talk to
them a little while.. but once I know I know and I know what I know I know.
This is a great list.
But I don't have any peers here. I don't see any yet at least. I still feel
that I can help people and this list can help me also. WHIP me into shape
man. ;)) What better placed to get whipped into shape than here? (internetly
speaking)
IRL I as of yet am to fall into a true service. And online too.
By "peers" I don't mean mastery. Funny how that is eh. No, not really. I'm
sweating right now. Drips of sweat come down my side. Why?
Cause I can't chill really. Not yet. I don't know what to say.. so I say
this, and that.
Then I look back on it and think. What a buncha hoolaah. I don't like reading
other people's hoolaah and I doubt they like reading mine. This is all
hoolaah right now. So I probably shouldn't send this stupid email.
I don't really feel lonely, but I still long to project what is inside me
into others. Call me a bastard. Lately I've found people really like it when
I project on them. It's only something I've learned to really honestly do in
the past few months. My whole life (short life) of 22 years has been the
shell of keeping it all inside (and there is alot of it) and I never
projected on anyone. Because >>this<< is way to decadent for them, it would
blow them off their heels.
But the stronger people can handle it and really appreciate the honesty.. and
the weaker ones.. well who cares. I had to go through hell, so let them go
through it. They'll all get there eventually. Now I slightly grimace on my
face. Ego presents an evil mirrage to me. You could have. It's tricky, it's
law is that it does not already own.
===================================================
I love Tricky. By the way. Very
I'm all messed up now
you all will never satify me. The most of you. But some of you can. If you
show me how. Will you? I will show you how, then you can show me. (I'll show
you mine if you show me yours)
Nakedness was never better when I was 6 and under. NEVER
I'm working on getting back to that childhood sexuality... re awakening the
faerie within. It died on the rocks of abadon. And now it lives and revels in
your face, the face of adversity I expose the fire that burns within. OOOooh.
Whip it, You've got to whip it good don't you.
*s*
----------
It is still rather futile to share any of this with any of you. None of you
are going to hear me because you're not on this ray. I don't even care what
ray it is because I don't do much research. Shit. Not that I shouldn't..
(just saying what other people might call it)
Pretty much the only adult I trust is Alloya. I don't use the term trust
lightly.
Trust in my vocab means 100% and no less. I do trust her.. ;*))
Wish we could share. Y'all would have alot of fun in my light. You like to
dance don't you.
But don't take my word for it. People got to whip me too. I'm pretty lavish.
****whiipcrack****
I AM... but why not?
 I .. can't spend every moment of my life trying to be perfect can I?
 I know.. I know..
 Well.. I'll be there, I am. there.. shit. This is getting pretty bad now.
Take 5 minutes out.
++++++
Cold. It's cold out here. What good is an internet fucking community anyways
if you goddamned can't share your real shit.
Better take time again++++
(she says, you must guide them, they cannot guide themselves to understand,
you must show them, you cannot expect them to just hand over their lives to
you, they do not already know what answers you have laid before them, you
must provoke their consciousness through action, not mere words, your words
become action in sight of what you have gathered, you cannot gather unless
you have surrendured to me)

But I want a community where people understand me and I am not a stranger.

(you will eventually, but this is not the place for that. They are not
prepared to simply know who you are without provocation. You must provoke
them. If you cannot provoke them in their own world then how will they hear
you? You are not speaking THEIR language. That is why you came here to begin
with, you know that.)

I know Goddess, I know what to do. ::these feeble words are not enough, my
heart is empty and closed more than I ever wanted it to be::

(my Goddess is not your Goddess)
but my darkness we share together. If you want to call that Goddess we can
have a common ground. My light is yours also. We share that as well. Anything
else is unknown, bereft of family.

(Shhhhhhhhhh)
Light is the same as darkness I guess.

I didn't want to say anything else. but I have alot more to share.
You didn't hear my before did you. But maybe you will now.
My voice is tilling, stifling, and small. It grows louder every day. Soon I
will be singing. I already am. I am singing a little bit. I better meditate.
I better study programming. My dream is to make a web-game with Java and
incorporate music into it. Then I can show you wonders you would never have
dreamed of. You can show me wonders too.
Nosmundolini came here too. He just shouted at you alot over and over. He
acts dumb sometimes. He made the same error I did. He expected to you to be
able to hear but there was no hearing going on. Well honesty he probably just
wanted to collaberate like I do and eventually he left. Satellite salesman.
Crazy guy, where are you now. Someone said he was Pan.
BESIDES, you all are just PERFECT the way you are anyways. We faeries just
want to have fun that's all. We get sooooooooooo bored and sooooooooo much
want to reach out and touch someone, REALLY ALOT WE DO, sometimes we forget
we have to remember first... and then it doesn't matter anymore.
Well I'm still here. I feel like I can really help and guide some people. If
that's not too arrogant a thing to say. And hopefully, maybe (definately)
I'll pick up on some good information and meet a few good people. I already
have.
This list doesn't have a floor!!! There are no ground rules!!! That may seem
like a blessing at first, and maybe it is (since everything is really a
blessing) but it does make it difficult to bounce things off of you (y'all)
*sigh*
Sigh sigh sigh, again. Someone is really a best gal... such a good demeanor
in your eyes. Why did I ever judge you so quickly and make up a personality
that did not even exist before I even knew you!! So typical of me, quick to
box- and typify someone who I'm a little afraid of.
You want to hear the really stupid part. After I knew you I realized you
weren't what I made you out to be in the beginning at alllllll! You were very
good indeed! Why was I so superficial. That is not who I am!
What odd experience it is to project an energy that has nothing to do with
yourself.
I'm really not wanting to hear myself anymore GHAA++++++=
-==--==-
I didn't do very much good then. My fingers are cold but I think I'm getting
better. I know I shouldn't think out loud. But what else is there that I
ought to do? I feel out loud, if there are good feelings you will be helped,
if there are negative feelings you will be squelched.. I will be squelched.
But I AM feeling a little better now. Oh ;) How nice.
)))))))))))))))))))))))))))
Second from the bottom. My name is Aaron I am a singer of songs.

Love You, More than I am even conscious of (right now)
Aaron

p.s. it's better if I don't censor my thoughts, correct? Even if I know
they're wrong. They're not good enough for me, so they're not good enough for
you either. And I know they are not good enough. But they are all I have. So
I decided not to squelch them anymore and maybe some real sharing can poke
through. Even if you all suck and could probably not relate anyways. It's
cool anyhow. (I'm just thinking of a few of you, and it's not personal)
It's probably most of you anyways.
Whatever
  ((((((((DON'T TAKE IT PERSONALLY I THINK YOU'RE GREAT!!! COME ON)))))))
 you still don't get it, we're ONLINE, there is no bodies
 and yes I do talk too much, but I can handle it. I'll just throw it in the
recycling bin... where everything belongs anyways. It all goes back in the
recyling bin. *sigh*
 that is just another myth. Another "fairy tale" if you will. And that is
the point we're getting at here real soon. Love Joy
 my apologies

--


http://www.kundalini-gateway.org
http://www.domin8rex.com/serpent/spirit/kindex.htm

blank
DISCLAIMER!

Home | Archive Index | Search the archives | Subscribe
blank
K.  List FAQ | Kundalini FAQs | Signs and  Symptoms | Awakening Experiences | K. list Polls | Member Essays | Meditations | List Topics | Art Gallery | Cybrary | Sitemap | Email the moderators.
line
  • Feel free to submit any questions you might have about what you read here to the Kundalini mailing list moderators, and/or the author (if given). Specify if you would like your message forwarded to the list. Please subscribe to the K-list so you can read the responses.
  • All email addresses on this site have been spam proofed by the addition of ATnospam in place of the at symbol symbol.
  • All posts publicly archived with the permission of the people involved. Reproduction for anything other than personal use is prohibited by international copyright law. ©
  • This precious archive of experiential wisdom is made available thanks to sponsorship from Fire-Serpent.org.
  • URL: http://www.kundalini-gateway.org/klist/k2002/k200200701.html