To: K-list
Recieved: 2002/01/23 17:14
Subject: Re: [K-list] Protection - Confused
From: Mystress Angelique Serpent
On 2002/01/23 17:14, Mystress Angelique Serpent posted thus to the K-list:
At 07:04 AM 23/01/02, Keith Chapman wrote:
>Hi all,
> Just confused on this matter. When I first got into this (and I'm still
>really new) I was always being warned... "Always protect yourself... evil
>spirits can get you... yadda yadda." It felt really weird at first to
>protect myself, cause I wasn't afraid that an evil spirit COULD get me.
>Just didn't feel it there... but I followed their advice and it's like
>second nature to imagine the white light surround me and protect me.
I guess, this will be the non-duality essay I have been postponing
writing. :)
Your confusion is understandable. Quite simply... (or not simply,) we
are speaking from different universes. (Vibrations, chakras, levels,
dimensions.) Every chakra has an eye that looks into the dimensional
universe it represents, and the reality-rules are different in different
dimensional universes. What is true, depends on who you are and what
universe you live in. Some things that are true in lower chakra universes
make no sense whatsoever in higher chakra universes, and may even be opposite.
("Higher" and "lower" being a description of relative position on the
vertical line of chakras, and not a judgment of quality or superiority.
Mountains are high and valleys are low but that does not mean mountains are
better than valleys. )
At the highest levels, everything is contradictory and cannot be
communicated in words. There, nothing is true, nothing is real, and
everything is true and everything is real... all at once. Makes no sense
till you have been there... like a Zen Koan. I could write a dozen answers
to the Koan "What is the sound of one hand clapping?", and they would all
be true but none of them would convey the experience of knowing the TRUTH.
The knowing, is beyond words. We cannot define or comprehend the infinite,
but when we give up trying, we can BE the infinite. That is what we truly are.
The chakras below the heart represent the duality universes, where
there are illusions of many of us separate individuals and illusions of
dark and light, good and evil, victims and heroes, saints and sinners,
lovers and loved. If you live there, then you will want protection from bad
things. If you are dabbling in magic but are not awakened, then you will
want protection.
We all exist on all dimensions, but most people are only aware of a
single dimensional reality... usually the second or third chakras. As
Kundalini clears the chakras and opens the eyes, you become aware of the
aspects of yourself that live on higher vibrations. How the world looks
through the eyes of your heart, your crown, how your soul and higher self
sees the world. I am aware of myself living on many dimensions at once, and
so whenever I consider an action, I can make a decision based on how the
situation looks from all dimensions, and only take action that is in
alignment with all.
That is what the Buddha calls "right action". Better still, if I am
very clear, the action will be spontaneous, without any thinking required.
A Zen Master has a silent mind, and acts in perfection without thinking.
The ego sorts things out by thinking, Goddess simply *knows.*
The Chakras above the heart represent the unity universes: Non-duality.
Love is all that is, there is only one of us and it is All of us, I AM all
that is. Goddess is One, Goddess is All. In the higher chakra universes,
the rules are spiritual truths about the unity of all things, and the
non-existence of space and time. That is how the third eye can see through
walls and into other timelines. Seeing through the illusion.
The process of Kundalini is to attain the unity consciousness, of
seeing Love as all that Is. The purification works to clear the blockages
that represent our duality beliefs (karma) so that we can attain the
experience of seeing the spiritual truths of the higher chakras, even in
the lower chakra universe.
If attaining unity=enlightenment, self realization is your goal, then
using protection is giving energy to beliefs of fear and separation: making
more karma instead of shedding what you have already.
> Now Mystress, during the tea party you said that it was holding me
>back... or that something was, and that protecting myself could have been
>it.
I also said that you might simply not be ready for the Innersun
initiation. It might not be appropriate for you. There is "no one size fits
all" spiritual path.
> I do your grounding visualization often, and it's just confusing at
>this one part now...
>
>" that is the perimeter of your aura,
> two feet above your head
> and three feet below your feet
> making it complete and sealed against all harm.
>
> A force field bubble shielding you."
There are different kinds of protection. I wear clothes and live in a
house to "protect" me from the cold and weather. Yet, the cold is not
malicious, it is not an evil demon trying to harm me, it just Is. I do not
have to *fear* the cold to recognise that wearing an extra sweater is a
good idea, putting the sweater on is being loving to myself. Surrendering
to what Is.
The Inner Sun Tummo fire that the initiation opened, is a gentle form
of heat and clear light that burns away blockages. The Clear light the
Tibetans speak of, is a higher vibration than white light, it is like a
heat shimmer... infrared, ultraviolet, invisible light casts no shadows.
The light that is there in the illusion of darkness, but our physical eyes
cannot see it. White light is polarized, it is useful in duality where
there are illusions of light and dark, but eventually you have to surrender
the black and white world and become the clear light of Nothing.
If you were a Tummo Master in Tibet, your graduation test would be to
sit out in the Tibetan winter all night in your underwear, and by morning
you must have dried two sets of linens on your back and melted all the snow
in a 5 foot radius around you. Then you would graduate and get a thin robe
and that is all you would wear, winter and summer.
It is not that you would have transcended the illusion of cold, so much
that you have learned to make a chi-furnace in your belly that keeps you
warm. It is kind of a show-off trick, like a Kung Fu master breaking bricks
with his forehead.
Your skin "protects" you from your blood leaking out all over... this
bubble is simply making a skin on your aura. An envelope, container to keep
your energy from leaking out all over, and to keep other folks
energy/karma/emotional issues from leaking into you.
I recognise that most people who first come to the grounding, are still
living in duality space: that is their reality and experience of life. In
duality space, there is you and me and everyone, and the bubble recognises
that illusion of separation is your reality, even as the grounding cord
connects you to Source beyond illusion.
It is important to ground and connect to source, when you are in duality
where there is the illusion of space and time... yet, in the higher chakra
universe where time and space do not exist, there can be no linearity of a
vertical cord, of being fed from source outside of yourself, because you
are All. You are the sun and the Earth, and all the starry void. You are
nothing. Both!
To some extent, you can "fake it till you make it"... hold fast to the
spiritual truths and surrender all else till they become your reality...
but that can also be a kind of resistance to what Is. Skip grounding
because on a higher level it is illusion, and you will have a harsh trip
because you are not yet at a place where that kind of non-duality is your
reality.
People who are awakened, yet still in duality space often get a lot of
entities coming to visit, drawn to your light like moths to a flame... They
are a distraction and it is simpler to simply shut them out, or send them
into the light, than to get drawn into their arguments and games. Yet, on
the level on non-duality, you are all that Is and they are a part of you,
they are love. Goddess is All.
However, if an entity knew it is Goddess, then it would not be an
entity. Entities live in the separation universe, and experience
separation, so you deal with them and encounter them in those realities...
most notably, the astral dimension of the power chakra, where dreams happen
and ghosts and spirits live. Entities have forgotten that they are Light,
and are stuck in illusion just like people with egos are stuck. The entity
clearing simply helps entities remember that they came from light and will
go back to the light, and since time is illusion, they might as well go
back immediately. When they remember that they have the option, they go.
So you see, the confusion comes of which chakra level you are speaking
from. Just like with a thread a few days ago, someone spoke of Heaven being
here, and someone else argued that a world with war and poverty could not
be heaven. They are both right, for themselves... they were speaking of
different dimensional realities.
The goal of the Kundalini process is to try to see the spiritual unity
in the illusions of duality. If you were a Fundamentalist Christian or a
Wiccan, these considerations probably would not enter into your thinking,
because those religions teach ideas of sin, darkness, harm and evil that
do not exist in the dimensional universes above the heart.
The choice to believe in evil, is a choice to limit yourself to the
duality universes. The choice to look for the love within everything,
clears the illusion and transports you to the dimension where it is true.
I will offer an example from my own life. As a 12 year old self
hypnotist who had dreamt my future repeatedly and been scared shitless by
not understanding what I saw, I implanted the Wiccan Rede "For the good of
all and harm to none" on every level of my being, to last until my death.
Seemed like a good idea, at the time.
In early 1997, K-fire plus a few tabs of acid, and a wish to end
duality while dancing in the Void, shoved me through the doorway ... ego
death... a totally terrifying experience that I did not understand at the
time, and took quite a while to recover from. Not recommended!
Afterwards, my life was quite different except one persistent fear
remained: fear of harm.
It took me the better part of two years to trace this fear back to my
12 year old "good intentions/road to hell" and be guided to manifest a
ritual to undo what I had done to myself. Literally, kill off the ego
splinter that had fear of harm embedded in it... because fear of harm was
the writing on the wall around my soul, a self created prison of separation
from the Light, and death was the only exit I had left to myself.
When I realized this, I was in despair, and asked Goddess to send death
to set me free. I knew it would be some kind of ego death, not physical
death, but I was open to whatever kind of death She arranged. When you are
so close to unity, the last remaining aspects of duality -separation are as
painful as a chain link fence between Romeo and Juliet. Death came
courting, and I married him. :) Jumped the fence.
Actually, at age 12 I had wanted to extend it beyond death, but Spirit
gave me a sharp smack upside the head and told me what happens after death
is up to God and not for me to meddle with.
That voice was also telling me that harm is illusion and all is Divine
will, but I was too scared and hurt to listen and believe. I had the voice
telling me things all my life, and often trusted it, if I liked what I
heard... ;) but I did not know that the voice was God-dess, I did not even
know that other people did not have an inner voice telling them things. I
never thought, to wonder what it was. I did not know that most people do
not have a light on in their heads, either. References to "the darkness of
the mind" made no sense to me.
I was guided to out wit my 12 year old self by death via ritual. I
married Hades, (Greek God of death) as Persephone (Greek Goddess of
rebirth) in a circle of 100+ pagans enacting the Elysian Mysteries, and
attained my Self realization. It did not last, because I attached to some
things... namely, my role as teacher and healer, and grew a new ego that I
have killed off, since.
Back then, I became a Teacher and a Healer... and those egos got way
overgrown. Now, I am that I AM, nothingness.. and teaching and healing is
an activity that I do, not what I AM. It seems like a small distinction,
but it is not. Ego identifies with labels and wants to BE something. I have
been many things, I have a whopping list of titles and qualifications, but
they mean nothing. Being nothing, is peace.
So.. in a lower chakra universe, "For the good of all and harm to none"
is wise and effective: it gave a powerful young witch a safe playground to
grow in, and not make karma for herself. No matter what I did, things came
up roses! That did not stop me from freaking and worrying though, because I
was still living in duality, with fear of harm embedded in me. I had
forgotten what I had done to myself.
In the higher chakra universe, after K-fired ego death the Wiccan Rede
showed only its duality: fear of harm. I could wonder if I would have
attained my self realization much sooner if not for what I did to myself
when I was 12, but such musings are rather pointless. Perfection is what Is.
I was stuck in duality, not even realizing how the non duality was
apparent to those around me. For example: around... 1991? I borrowed my
friends old ten speed bicycle, and while walking it across the street, an
elderly man who was too focused on turning left to look right and see me
crossing, rolled his car gently over it. Caught the front wheel of the
bike, it turned and went under the car, crushing the frame. I jumped clear
and pounded on the hood of his car to wake him up.
The elderly couple did not want this accident to affect their insurance
rates and asked to settle it privately. I turned them over to my friend,
and as a settlement, she received a new department store brand mountain
bike they had in their garage and were not using, some health tinctures
that the old couple sold to make extra money, and $100., that paid off her
wedding dress.
I was all apologies to my friend, feeling bad for the loss of her bike
and foolish for assuming the old man had seen me crossing... but she
shrugged it off, saying that because it was *me* who got in the accident,
she knew it would turn out for the best. It surprised me, I did not know
the effects of my 12 year old spell were apparent to others. They were not
always apparent, to me! I was stuck in duality, busy being afraid of harm.
Heh...
Similarly, hope is a good thing to have in the lower chakra universe,
but in the higher chakra universe it show its duality: fear of the future,
that takes you out of the Here and Now. You do not reach for hope unless
you are worried about what is to come.
In Dante, above the gates of hell it says "Abandon all hope, ye who
enter here". Sounds awful, but it is really excellent advice, for the
underworld traveller. Even the attachment/fear of hope will be a stuck
place that keeps you from getting through all the levels, circles to reach
the teleportation portal to the light that is at the center of Hell.
Getting through Hell requires total unconditional surrender, projecting
your desires into the future with hope will get you stuck.
Being guided in preparing for the Persephone ritual, I was forbidden by
my guidance to even try to guess who I would be, afterwards. It was a
totally blind leap of faith into the arms of death. Death is the doorway to
the Light. Obviously, there is still somebody here, alive, writing this
post... but the person I was, died that day. Ascended gladly!
I am usually pretty cautious when speaking of ego death, because there
are many who get suicidal impulses as part of the process, and do not
understand that it is a spiritual metaphor, not a physical directive. I do
not want anyone to read my writing and do something stupid, like the
Heavens Gate cult did with the Nikes, purple scarves and poison pudding
committing mass suicide. Yes, death *is* the doorway to Ascension, but it
is not physical death you idiots!! Not being clear on the concept was a
fatal error that I do not want anyone here to make.
Similarly, the bible book of Revelations is not about the end of *the*
world, it is about the end of *your* world. A metaphor for the Kundalini
process and how it unfolds within the individual. What a mess when someone
is not clear on the concept!
The final image in revelations, of the Goddess about to give birth and
the dragon preparing to devour the child, is a snapshot metaphor of the
eternal reality, not a movie. The child is never born. We are that child, a
spark of life in the eternal womb of Goddess, dreaming an illusion of birth
and death. Dreaming the dragon.
The move "2001, a space oddysey" is the story of human evolution, and
the final image of the fetus floating among the stars, is the same thing.
Never born, never dying, in a infinite womb that is Goddess.
It is the same with the tarot card of the Fool, #0. Nothingness. The
Fool is a Zen master, and the card is a snapshot outside of time. Poised
forever, in the act of an effortless leap of faith... one foot on the earth
and the other in the air, eyes turned to the Sun, led by the little dog
that is the voice of instinct. The step off the cliff is never completed,
because it is a step outside of time and space.
The fool... know nothing, be everything. Be nothing, know everything.
Self realization.
In the lower chakra universe, it is good to love people. To be loving.
In the higher chakra universe, you are love and you are all, there is
nobody else. So if you try to be loving, instead of being love, you must
create separation so that there is someone else to send love to, and you
will fall from grace, back into duality.
Charity, is another one... in the lower chakra universe, it is gracious
to be charitable. In the higher chakra universe, charity is a projection
of need onto another person: not seeing them as God of their own life. Same
with healing. Thinking somebody needs fixing, is not seeing them as a
perfect manifestation of the Divine.
For my own work, I dance between worlds. I know thou art God, and need
nothing, but you do not know it and ask me to teach you.
So, I accept that your beliefs are right for you, and I can choose to
be the healer that you seek, (by your faith are you healed) or simply
smile and nod, leave you to your illusions and spend my time making some
more concrete and glass mud pies. Goddess does not need me to save the
world, the world is perfect just as it is. If I want to play at being
savior, She will allow that... but as soon as I become something, then life
can take a whack at me. When I am nothing, nothing can harm me.
I look for perfection in everything, I see everyone as being self
realized, unless they speak or act to show me where they think Goddess is not.
If I were to go into a soup kitchen and tell the homeless that they
are God, that their poverty is self created for the sake of experience and
they need nothing, I would probably get lynched, and rightly so. My truth
is not their truth. My world is not their world. Pushing my truth onto them
is not kind, respectful or consensual. I write this, because you asked me.
It is consensual.
> So what do I do? From the tea party I got that if I protect myself is
>shows an inner fear by feeling the need for protection. I must say not
>protecting myself feels really good for some reason... rather than being
>nervous and scared.
Right. It feels better, not to give energy to fear.
>But lately I've realized I've been real "all or
>nothing" with things...
Reality is All and nothing. :) But you are right to look for a middle
path.
> perhaps there are times I should and should not
>protect myself.
Yes. I am a very high vibration person. I radiate a Shakti field that
pushes on the karma in other people, brings it up to be released. People
who want to grow find it blissful, and people who do not want to grow will
tell themselves what a horrible bad witch I must be, because being around
me makes them feel like crap. Their feelings come of their resistance...
but they will project them onto me.
I cannot control what Shakti does... but I can surrender to it and use a
special bubble to send their projections into the light before they impact
on my body.
So, if I am going into a shopping mall or some place like that, I will
use a counter clockwise tornado spin on the outer edge of my aura, that
will send their projections up and away like Dorothy's house going to OZ,
autopilot. Fear based protection is resistance, it will get you beat up.
Surrender based "protection" is not resistance, it is surrender on
autopilot. When I get home, I will let the tornado spin up and away...
My home itself, my house spell is a higher vibration bubble in a lower
vibration world. Noticeably so! Visitors feel the shift and the side
effects of it, like how time seems to pass at a noticeably different rate,
and food can be left unrefrigerated for +3x longer without spoiling, and
funny little miracles happen all the time. At the same time though, there
have been some visitors who started to go crazy in my house, when the high
vibe energy pushed on things they would not surrender... and I had to send
them home, because their crazy resistance became my crazy resistance... no
separation. Not everyone is ready to live at my vibration, it has taken me
a lifetime to get here, myself! Takes mindfullness to energy hygiene to
stay here, and not attach to anything.
Similarly, projecting love and light onto someone can bring up more
karma than they are ready to deal with, and so it can be an extremely
unkind projection that will get you slapped upside the head with the karmic
feedback. Every action, an equal and opposite reaction.
Not everyone wants to become enlightened, some folks come in to play
the illusion game all the way through to the end without looking for an
exit... physical death is their exit, and I respect that. Ego death is the
exit for Kundalites, the separation ends but the body remains.. with
Goddess living in it.
The duality people do not have to come into my bubble, and I do not
have to live in their duality world. It is not protection, so much as being
respectful of the free will of individuals, in the universe of
individuality. Duality-space rules of ettiquite. Like not playing loud
music when the neighbors are trying to sleep.
>I'm curious if you could guide me in anyway possible with
>this matter. Also if I do have to start switching it off and on for
>different circumstances, would you have any tips on how to control it?
Control is not surrender. Goddess has it handled.
> I also wanted to say that what you told me to say, I don't remember it
>word for word (my poor memory) but it was something like, "Take these
>blocks and fears away Goddess, Receive them as a gift." I really like that
>and use it during meditation as relaxation, but it also increases the
>grounding... I don't really know how to explain it. Er, I've gone on a
>while here. Think I'll stop and breathe. Thank you.
It is a mantra of surrender. All of life is a gift of Goddess, we get a
"Lease on life" that is our illusion of free will, thinking stuff is
"ours". Our problems, our issues, our karma. Surrender means "give up!"
Give up your karma, your issues, your problems. Give them back. Kundalini
is using free will to surrender free will, give it all back to Goddess and
move beyond the illusions of duality. When Kundalini awakens, the lease is
up, and we have to give everything back to the Owner. Everytime you say
those words, more bits of karma illusion disappear, and when they are gone,
more light comes in. Better grounding.
When you can stay grounded permanently, you are enlightened. When you
become All, and realize that you always were the source that fed you, you
are Self Realized. Even with self realization, the growing does not stop.
We keep integrating more and more of the infinite universe, into our
experience of linearity by seeing that it is our Self reflected.
I need your consent, to post this on the web page that waits for it.
Blessings!
--
http://www.kundalini-gateway.org
http://www.domin8rex.com/serpent/spirit/kindex.htm
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