To: K-list
Recieved: 2001/11/16 22:55
Subject: [K-list] nothing happening
From: Jade

With all the talk about lights and patterns and colors and
everything else, I thought I'd post about something on my mind in
sort of the "opposite" direction...

As I wrote in my intro a month or so ago, I had some powerful
experiences many years ago which I consider to be "K" or at
least "K-related." Anyway, those experiences dissipated and I am
only left with the vestigial components - physical feelings of
energy in certain areas of my body which come and go.

So a few months ago I resumed my meditation practice again,
and I know "K" has it's own way and agenda, and I know a
couple of months is a very short length of time... but nothing
seems to be "happening", no feelings of peace or light nor even
the opposite emotions are arising...all I feel is a pervasive sense
of "neutrality." I've been meditating for 1-2 hours a day, and will
continue to do so, this is the most dedicated I've ever been, and I
know being anxious for "results" totally impedes the process, but
I just feel so ... well, almost bored, like maybe I should be doing
something else with that time.

I just write this because I had recently purchased a book
detailing a yogi's adventures, thinking it would inspire
me... but in reading through the book I want to throw it down in
disgust because I feel so distanced from the transcendent
experiences and simply cannot relate at all, even less
than ever.

Maybe it wasn't K that was stirred up, or maybe my previously
awakened K has gone into a deep slumber again?

Also I never have had a teacher, nor do I feel as if a teacher is
poised to appear, so I am basically navigating the spiritual
waters solo, although I am surrounded by many books.

-- Jade

p.s. I used to see wonderful colorful patterns when I was a child
before falling off to sleep. Haven't seen those patterns in a long,
long time. Sigh.

http://www.kundalini-gateway.org

DISCLAIMER!

---

Home | Archive Index | Search the archives | Subscribe

K.  List FAQ | Kundalini FAQs | Signs and  Symptoms | Awakening Experiences | K. list Polls | Member Essays | Meditations | List Topics | Art Gallery | Cybrary | Sitemap | Email the moderators.

Feel free to submit any questions you might have about what you read here to the Kundalini mailing list moderators, and/or the author (if given). Specify if you would like your message forwarded to the list. Please subscribe to the K-list so you can read the responses.

All email addresses on this site have been spam proofed by the addition of ATnospam in place of the symbol.

All posts publicly archived with the permission of the people involved. Reproduction for anything other than personal use is prohibited by international copyright law. ©

This precious archive of experiential wisdom is made available thanks to sponsorship from Fire-Serpent.org.

URL: http://www.kundalini-gateway.org/klist/k2001b/k200105502.html