To: K-list
Recieved: 2001/10/29 09:41
Subject: Re: [K-list] Kundalini descending...
From: mgb
On 2001/10/29 09:41, mgb posted thus to the K-list:
> I'm actually listening to myself now...
there is your answer
love light peace,
maria
--- unit1021ATnospamhotmail.com wrote:
>
>
>
> Hello,
>
>
> Been looking into K that goes top down. Cant find to
> much. Its all
> about bottom up and snakes and all of that. It figures
> that I get the
> stuff that doesnt fit in with everything else... Just
> thought I'd put
> up some things here...
>
>
> I dont have any snakes that move and do things on there
> own.
>
> I dont have anything that does things on its own.
>
>
> This is actually the second time I've felt this energy.
> What
> happened? It was shut off. By people manipulating me and
> driving me
> into depression, blocking me up. I felt it go, but was
> unable to do
> anything about it. I see that Goddess doesnt give more
> than you can
> handle? I've already had too much. Follow your bliss? I
> did... And
> was hated for it.. I loved to play my guitar with the
> beautiful music
> I had in me.. With the wonderful images I could see...
> That was all
> twisted out too... I loved the unlimited energy in me,
> like a sun, I
> could do anything. But I was told not to act like that,
> to stop
> playing my guitar, to stop being alive, stop trying to
> have a
> girlfriend, to be more like them...
>
> So I shut down... Just imagine what its like having all
> that nice
> energy in you now... Then slowly watching it all go
> away... Seeing
> that pink bubble around you slowly getting smaller and
> smaller. And
> you dont know why... Then...Just blackness... It doesnt
> take long
> for you to start trying to kill yourself.... I wasn't
> protected, I
> didnt hear guidence, I was left to die. And I did..
>
>
> So now I'm here. I can say.. This is the same stuff I
> had! I know
> what this is. Recognition. But I things are different
> now. Before I
> would grow with it every day, I never had to think,
> things just
> happened and I felt good. Thats the best way to do it.
> Now.. I think
> too much about everything. It gets confusing. What is
> this? What is
> that?
>
>
> You might think that I am rushing this.. But really all
> I want is to
> feel it all again. To get in touch with myself again. To
> just be me
> again. It's like a thristy guy in the desert who finds
> water
> finaly... he will drink himself sick.. I wanted to feel
> good again
> after so long, to return...
>
> And most importantly... Stop being constantly cut open
> and having my
> heart smashed every day of my life from this incredible
> feelers that
> I have that are attached to everyone I see..
>
> Most people seem to have guidence, something that moves
> in them.
> They dont have to do a thing. Just let it go... Let it
> flow.. I dont
> have this.. I just do things. I dont know how far to go,
> how much to
> do, what to clear, what to surrender, how to be.. This is
> bad when
> you already know how it feels and want to just have a
> taste again...
> You cant stop sometimes... This is all that drives you.
>
> If I do this a lot, maybe I will stop hurting from other
> people..
>
> If I clear all of this then I can maybe hear what I need
> to?
>
> If I clear this chakra maybe I can do my art again?
>
> If I do all of this stuff maybe Goddess will finally get
> a place for
> me where I can really live and finally get some sleep....
>
> If I do more of this I will be able to feel just me...
>
>
> I dont know what to say really.. This is all just so
> confusing to
> me. But how can you tell when you are going to far with
> this? If I
> dont keep at it constantly I feel that the same thing
> will happen
> again. I will lose it. And I cant have that happen
> again.. But I know
> there are dangers here, but I cant see them... I have no
> limiters...
>
>
> So let me know if you think I'm going to far, or if
> theres something
> you think I should know. I dont know anything. I'm
> learning like
> crazy, but this is not something that I want to mess with
> without
> knowledge. But I still need this... Its me.
>
>
> I'm actually listening to myself now... Just waiting for
> an answer...
>
>
> Thanks
>
>
> Sean
>
>
>
SAT NAM
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