To: K-list
Recieved: 2001/10/29 07:24
Subject: [K-list] Kundalini descending...
From: Unit1021
On 2001/10/29 07:24, Unit1021 posted thus to the K-list:
Hello,
Been looking into K that goes top down. Cant find to much. Its all
about bottom up and snakes and all of that. It figures that I get the
stuff that doesnt fit in with everything else... Just thought I'd put
up some things here...
I dont have any snakes that move and do things on there own.
I dont have anything that does things on its own.
This is actually the second time I've felt this energy. What
happened? It was shut off. By people manipulating me and driving me
into depression, blocking me up. I felt it go, but was unable to do
anything about it. I see that Goddess doesnt give more than you can
handle? I've already had too much. Follow your bliss? I did... And
was hated for it.. I loved to play my guitar with the beautiful music
I had in me.. With the wonderful images I could see... That was all
twisted out too... I loved the unlimited energy in me, like a sun, I
could do anything. But I was told not to act like that, to stop
playing my guitar, to stop being alive, stop trying to have a
girlfriend, to be more like them...
So I shut down... Just imagine what its like having all that nice
energy in you now... Then slowly watching it all go away... Seeing
that pink bubble around you slowly getting smaller and smaller. And
you dont know why... Then...Just blackness... It doesnt take long
for you to start trying to kill yourself.... I wasn't protected, I
didnt hear guidence, I was left to die. And I did..
So now I'm here. I can say.. This is the same stuff I had! I know
what this is. Recognition. But I things are different now. Before I
would grow with it every day, I never had to think, things just
happened and I felt good. Thats the best way to do it. Now.. I think
too much about everything. It gets confusing. What is this? What is
that?
You might think that I am rushing this.. But really all I want is to
feel it all again. To get in touch with myself again. To just be me
again. It's like a thristy guy in the desert who finds water
finaly... he will drink himself sick.. I wanted to feel good again
after so long, to return...
And most importantly... Stop being constantly cut open and having my
heart smashed every day of my life from this incredible feelers that
I have that are attached to everyone I see..
Most people seem to have guidence, something that moves in them.
They dont have to do a thing. Just let it go... Let it flow.. I dont
have this.. I just do things. I dont know how far to go, how much to
do, what to clear, what to surrender, how to be.. This is bad when
you already know how it feels and want to just have a taste again...
You cant stop sometimes... This is all that drives you.
If I do this a lot, maybe I will stop hurting from other people..
If I clear all of this then I can maybe hear what I need to?
If I clear this chakra maybe I can do my art again?
If I do all of this stuff maybe Goddess will finally get a place for
me where I can really live and finally get some sleep....
If I do more of this I will be able to feel just me...
I dont know what to say really.. This is all just so confusing to
me. But how can you tell when you are going to far with this? If I
dont keep at it constantly I feel that the same thing will happen
again. I will lose it. And I cant have that happen again.. But I know
there are dangers here, but I cant see them... I have no limiters...
So let me know if you think I'm going to far, or if theres something
you think I should know. I dont know anything. I'm learning like
crazy, but this is not something that I want to mess with without
knowledge. But I still need this... Its me.
I'm actually listening to myself now... Just waiting for an answer...
Thanks
Sean
http://www.kundalini-gateway.org
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