To: K-list
Recieved: 2001/10/11 01:22
Subject: [K-list] Amaizing experience......
From: Unit1021
On 2001/10/11 01:22, Unit1021 posted thus to the K-list:
Hey all,
Just had an amaizing experience. Just today I finally realized how
as an empath you have to fill yourself up with your own self or
love.. or Goddess to ever get anywhere without getting ripped apart
from everything around you. So I've been thanking my unconcious all
the time. I feel it grow in me. Filling me up with good things. This
has given me a lot of energy too. Its new.
So at the end of the day I'm in my lavander bath (weeee) and I hear
a girl calling my name again and again. I know who it is, and I know
that I'm supposed to get in touch with Goddess. I was on break from
all of this... So when I connect up I see Goddess there with a child
in her arms.. and its me.. I am the little baby, and I'm glowing very
nicely. Then I see myself as a small little almost developed baby in
a womb, and I'm glowing gold there too. I see this, and am part of
it at the same time. Its very nice. I am the baby in Her arms again
and she tells me that she will be there for me. She will be the
mother that I never had. Someone who cares. Someone who loves. I
started crying, I couldnt believe it.. It felt so good.
So I have a lot of energy left but I fall asleep... Then I'm half
awake half asleep and I know something is up. My energy is raising
like crazy.. I am getting images of people, places around me... Loud
noises, crowds staring at me. Who? Alaskan indian totems? All sorts
of new things. I just surrender it...let it go... nothing doing...
hmm... I try to go back to sleep... It gets worse. I'm getting
worried. I wake more up and surrender it some more... nothing
doing... Ok this is getting a bit too much...
Right then I feel something start moving from my heart area up my
chest and into my throat. OK... this just got serious! This must be
what everyone talks about as the snake that moves in you... This
thing was trying to run up my throat but was like it was running into
a wall and did not stop, just kept pushing... I'm terrified! My
Throat really hurts now, its hard for me to breath. I'm surrendering
to it. just letting it go.. But its not good enough. I just let it do
its thing... Not good enough...
"Stay calm, stay calm, think. you need to think... what do you know
about this? It must be hitting some blocks in me. Ok OK, just dont
fight it, let it go... I might have to clear the blocks... I wish
everyone would go the hell away so I can think!! Damn... Think
think...Ok, first step, brain off... lets see whats going on with my
spirit... Somethings there all right... Its hitting things in my
throat area. I cant see them too good though... damn, where is this
at?"
I send my conciousness to my throat and wait. If I cant see them, I
will wait till they show themselves to me. I'm getting really paniced
now...
"Stay calm, stay calm what have you learned? Dont fight it... clear
the blocks...THERE!"
LIES LIES LIES!
What lies? I dont lie... No image either, wheres the icon?
LIES LIES LIES
Ok, tell me more...
I see myself clearly at around 15, horrably guilty about things.
Telling what appears to be lies to people. I remember the scene now.
I did feel horrable about that. But then I understand a lot more now.
This was not a big deal. This was not something to make a huge mess
out of, making me feel bad and twisting me up over nothing. I realise
that this is not my problem. I forgive myself for even being in the
situation and tell myself how things really happened. Not my
distorted version of how I lived it. I send myself love and ask
Goddess to do the same, to give him the understanding I have now. To
let it go. I give it to Goddess in timeline fashon.. I feel a lot
better... But the pressure is still there...
This thing is going to kill me.. I cant do this fast enough... There
are a lot of things here...
Back waiting for another one.....waiting...seeking it out... Heres
one!
I'm about 7 years old. My first confession and communion. I see it
all so clearly with my white suit and everyone around me. Why do I
feel so bad? I thought everyone was supposed to be happy? Why did
confession make me feel horrable? Why is what I did so wrong? Its not
wrong at all! I hate that! How is it all wrong? I feel bad.. DAMNIT!
I totaly forgot about this. I started to forgive myself for
everything, for even listening to them. To their lies. For not
listening to myself and the knowledge that I had at the time. For
beleiveing them. Then I tell myself the true way. How I was right,
and its not bad. It is all good and not a reason to feel bad about. I
send more love and ask Goddess in again to take it all in timeline.
Why dont these explode? I cant stay too long.. But I do see the whole
scene fade into a black and white photo in a picturebook. Like its
been settled. Its a part of my past now. Resolved. Done. Muscles
relax all over my body. I feel like another block is gone from my
throat..
Oh man horrable images are showing up, but I dont have time to deal
with them. I call in some Archangels by instinct and ask them to deal
with anything thats not a block and then just to line up the blocks
so I can get them all as fast as I can do them. And for once in my
life keep these damn things off of me so I can think!
I cant breath...I cant swallow...
I'm 4.... I am given lies. I belive them. They twist me. I resolve
them.. Timeline... Done..
I am 14... More of the same...
I am 6... more...
This is all so clear. Like I am there again in time. No distortion.
Time travel...
This goes on for quite a while. I finally feel things start to calm
down. I still work like crazy. I see my life is one big huge
mismanagment. I cant stop. I'm doing this as fast as I can. Explain
here. Resolve here. Replace lies with truth there.. DONE DONE DONE
DONE....
I dont know how long this all took. But I can breath again and I'm
not afraid of it anymore. All that crazy rushing energy is almost all
gone. All the things around me are all gone. I'm pretty happy. I
figured this out! Its all... wait.. one more... its a little skull..
I'll deal with it tomorrow... Maybe I better do it now...
Its from a few months ago! When I first talked with Mystress
Angelique.... She said to thank my unconcious... But I never really
understood what it's real meaning was until today, never used it like
I should.. It took me a few months to get it all together by reading
on the k-list and my own syncronicity. I could have saved myself a
lot of trouble... Its ok.. I know now.. Let it go. Forgive. Resolve.
I understand now.. Timeline.. Done...
I feel around... All done... My throat is sooo sore.. But I'm OK! :)
I made it! Thank you Goddess! I feel so much better now.. About
myself, about who I am. With a new understanding about life and the
things that can affect you as you go along.
Whew!
I cannot believe the force of that thing! It really does try to kill
you. It pushes like mad! It tries to drive you nuts. For me that
wasn't a problem though. I've actually seen worse haha.. Not an
issue. But the force was intense. (rubs throat, breathes again) I
dont know what happened really. But its all done for now.
I am very very thankfull to everyone on K-list and Mystress
Angelique and all the writing that she does. If this had happened
without the knowledge I've read from here... I might not have been
writing this post at all. What an experience! I'm also pretty glad
that I was shown how to take care of the blocks. Would have been bad
otherwise...
Thanks everyone.
I'm going back to bed now :)
whew..
Sean
http://www.kundalini-gateway.org
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