To: K-list
Recieved: 2001/10/02 01:23
Subject: Re: [K-list] Infinity loops...
From: Serenasbliss
On 2001/10/02 01:23, Serenasbliss posted thus to the K-list:
In a message dated 10/01/2001 6:20:39 PM W. Europe Daylight Time,
XerxencaATnospamaol.com writes:
> A couple of days after working with Angelique, I had a meditation in which
I
> just kept surrendering everything that came up - until I gave up my heart
> and
> everything connected to it. I was blissed out. I went back to my office to
> finish up my day - and I got a phone call from my boss in DC who - well,
he
> laid me off. Minutes after surrendering my heart.
Your story reminded me of mine, which follows in some small part.
I was on the way to work in an environment that had become
increasingly strained and miserable...
I heard Her say to me, "What if you get fired
today?" and I said, "oh... Thy will be done."
Ten minutes later I'd been into work and
I was back out on the pavement- I had been fired.
I went home.
The phone rang... a dear friend wanted to give my jewelry as Christmas
presents that year, and she placed a large order with me. But
my jeweler's bench and access to tools came from my
ex-workplace. I knew I'd fill the order somehow.
I went and bought enough stuff to set up a jeweler's bench on my
partner's bill-paying desk... made jewelry with a hand-held propane tank
and one of those big brass nozzles from Fred Meyers, using a
square of wire fencing as a soldiering surface. It protruded from the edge
of the desk and was held in place by a brick.
I was a crazy woman, but I did it.
I went to a support group meeting and forced myself to tell everyone
I'd been fired. I had a lot of shame about it. A lawyer
commissioned a portrait of one of his employees from me.
Basically I've been a self-employed artist ever since. I picked
up a few hours working on-call/part time for a few months, and
got food stamps for six months.
>
> So now, I've been on a pendulum of joy, anxiety, peace. And in this city,
at
>
> this moment in time I am unemployed and looking for work. I'm asking for
and
>
> getting help from different quarters. But I am, of course, unsettled.
It is such a precious opportunity to trust and look deeper.
When I was thrown out of work, I was thrust into
a liminal situation... it's kind of like Halloween, spirit can speak
strongly and work powerful changes. When a person isn't
entrenched in ordinary daily routine...
Anyway. Some time
later I was down to $17 in my bank account and She told me to
go spend it on flowers for everyone in my support group.
I fought Her on that for about two hours and then
went and did as she said. I was able to afford
18 violet flag irises. She told me that the meeting might
be large that night and to pick extra flowers from my yard
and take them so that everyone would be sure to get a flower.
I did. Sure enough, thirty women showed up that night. I had exactly
enough blossums and the little marigolds I feared were too homely too
offer were among the first flowers to be chosen.
When I told the group that the flowers were for everyone, please pick
one out that you like and pass the rest on, thirty women gasped with pleasure
simultaneously. That moment- when I made thirty women
gasp with pleasure at once- is probably one of the highlights
of my life. I've never heard anything so beautiful... it happened because
I did what I was guided to do, and trusted.
That left me with a happy memory but an empty
bank account... the lawyer I mentioned above called the next day
and wanted portraits of his wife and daughter. He had been so
pleased with the portrait I did of his employee!
>
> rambling on -
>
> but the dancing helps!
I'll dance today too. I'm in a liminal space right now, preparing for
a transcontinental move to a city I haven't even visited for
almost ten years. Running fevers from this
head cold thing I've suddenly got. And the dancing does help.
>
> Love,
> X
:-)
Serena
http://www.kundalini-gateway.org
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