To: K-list
Recieved: 2001/10/02 01:03
Subject: [K-list] Re: Need Help - Severe Kundalini
From: Info
On 2001/10/02 01:03, Info posted thus to the K-list:
On Sat, 29 Sep 2001 16:39:51 -0700 Mystress Angelique wrote:
Sean is essentially correct, although his delivery could have
been gentler. Your being unable to sleep tonight is likely related to
your doing yoga and pranayama today.
If you try to push K., it might get scary... pranayama is known
for bringing up a lot of unconscious issues. Specifically, it is
considered somewhat hazardous because it may bring up too much too
fast. That way may lead to psychosis.
You said you are willing to suffer, to grow. How much do you want
to suffer? Be careful what you pray for... *and* surrender your fear
of insanity. If Goddess wanted you crazy, then you would be crazy.
Its a pretty good guess, that is not what She has in mind.
<snip>--------------
Hello Angelique,
I think you've said a lot of good things here. It's nice to see that
people like you who seem to have a pretty good education regarding
Kundalini.
I've been hearing that my delivery could have been somewhat easier
and that I'm feeding fears and that my motives should be examined. I
would very much like to clarify something here. I have pretty good
insight and clarity regarding my own motives, and if someone should
question mine, I think it is THEY who should be examining their own.
If you tell someone to hate someone else because they are a certain
ethnic background, I think that is feeding a negative fear.
If you tell someone that they will burn in the fires of Brimstone for
all eternity if they do not believe in a certain religion, I believe
that is feeding a negative fear.
But if you tell someone to get out of the street because a truck is
coming, I think that this is genuine concern for someone's well-being
and self-preservation.
I warned Leslee that the practice of certain yogic disciplines are
believed to create distorted specimans, and that there are many
insane specimans in India that practice Hatha Yoga.
In no way do I believe this was feeding a negative fear, as its
intention was to protect the individual for whom it was intended.
Your own post verified my standpoint regarding Kundalini and certain
yogic practices. But the issue here is one of whether my delivery was
appropriate or not.
Let me turn back the clock approximately four years ago. I did a
prayer/meditation that lasted approximately eight hours. I prayed for
balance of the self so that my higher faculties (of consciousness)
could begin to operate. During the two week period that followed I
thought I was going to die on three occasions. I went through long
periods not knowing whether I would even be able to breath, almost
crying because I felt like I was suffocating. Like Leslee, I slept
very little.
The worst night in that two week period I wound up in the hospital,
both hands restrained, intravenous needles stuck in my arm, in so
much pain from dehydration that I thought it would be better to be
dead than alive, and a urination tube stuck up my penis. With my arms
restrained I had no way of getting something to drink. The time
dragged, and each moment was a "Dark Night of My Soul" that I will
never forget. And how would I classify this event? A classic
psychotic episode.
Turn the clock back three years ago, I used to hang around with a
friend that I will call "Doug". Doug and I had something in common.
We both realized that we were K-awakened individuals. But Doug did
not take proper care of himself, and over a period of months, his
family, his other friends and me, all saw him become more difficult
to deal with. His mind began to slip away to a point where no one was
able to tell him that his behavior was becoming rather eccentric and
questionable. Had he not gotten thrown in jail I wonder what
condition he would be in today.
Turn the clock back one year ago. I met someone I'll call "Nick". He
told people that he regarded himself as the "next savior of Israel"
and said that 200+ people died in Isreal when they tried to take his
life. He said that a huge stone broke in half because of him and that
he was able to call tornadoes and earthquakes by prayer. He also said
that he was one of the Two Witnesses as mentioned in the Book of
Revelation.
Perhaps many of the people on this list have had the fortune of not
having to deal with a highly painful psychotic experience of their
own, or of having to watch a friend slip away from them because of
improper self care, or have come into contact with k - awakened
schizophrenic paranoid and delusional individuals who pray for
tornadoes to take the lives of people. Well I have. I know how real
and serious the warnings Gopi Krishna gave really are because I've
experienced them for myself.
There is a difference between having a healthy fear of self-
preservation, and of letting fear take happiness away from your daily
life because you choose focus on a fear that is either not helful for
you, or is irrational (most fears probably fall into the latter two
categories).
As I said, Angelique, your own post already attested to the fact that
her yoga practices could be damaging her. Her private post to me and
also to everyone else showed me her insistence to keep up with them.
And she actually looked for people to support her in her decision to
keep up with those practices.
WELL I WON'T DO IT.
I stand by what I said and how I chose to say it, and I care enough
to appeal to her fears of self-preservation to try to deter her from
further hurting herself.
If she insists on believing that her yogic disciplines are not going
to hurt her, that is her choice. But facts are still facts whether we
choose to believe them or not.
I would like for someone to take a very logical and realistic look at
this particular issue.
If her practices are not doing her any harm and she discontinues them
for a period of days, she will be able to tell in a short period of
time because her (negative) symtoms should remain fairly constant.
At the very worst she will miss a few days (perhaps weeks) practicing
the yoga that she loves so much.
But if the her yogic practices are doing harm to her system then she
is going to suffer the consequences because of it.
Given these simple facts, it would be illogical for someone to
continue their yogic practices and not at least stop them (lessen
them, or find alternatives) for even a short period in order to test
and find out if they really are the cause behind her (negative)
symptoms... Doesn't she owe it to herself to find out what she CAN
do? The only way to begin is by a process of elimination, and good,
scientific emperical observation.
I can say that, given the experiences that I have had, that it would
be irresponsible of me to not communicate to her what I did and how I
did it.
Take care, Angelique.
Love and light...Sean
http://www.kundalini-gateway.org
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