To: K-list
Recieved: 2001/10/01 13:39
Subject: [K-list] Sean VS Autumn
From: Unit1021
On 2001/10/01 13:39, Unit1021 posted thus to the K-list:
Hello all,
Thanks as always for your support.
1st... Kate.. no awakenings for me.. I am just like this. Always
have been. Memories return. Thanks for your words :)
2nd.
Possibly scarry stuff after this.... Wait.. its realy scarry... No
newbies read... go away... I'm a newbie and I dont want to read it at
all... and I wrote it.. Shoo....
I have just realised what has been happening to me and the things I
have been saying about dark stuff. Now I dont know if this is due to
my emotional state now. Or what.. But around this time every year I
get TONS of energy and creativity. It builds up slow and then BANG!
ITS ALL ON ALL THE TIME! Now I tend to stare at the moon a lot
durring this time. Go on walks alone. Think different thoughts etc...
In the not to past I used to love being out at night and just feel
the energy there. I used to say.. "haha, I am a demon in the night"..
And want to howl at the moon. What do I know?
Ok now things are stepping up. Since I'm more connected to this
stuff now it seems to be more powerfull for me. .. Uh... I am not
thinking like I normaly do, "everyone have fun" thoughts now are
suddenly, "Why dont we kill everyone" thoughts. This is not me at
all.
Last night I had a rush of this energy so I hit the road and drove
around for a while. While I'm on the road I start getting images of
demon hords rising into the skies and all of that, but I am one of
them.. ..ok... After a bit I see myself as I could be, a
destroyer, a leader of an army that kills everything. I could do this
if I wanted to.. The clouds are red from reflected burning towns. I
see my coat and scarf and everything. OK THIS IS GETTING OUT OF HAND!
(can you even see me as a destroyer? I laugh.. I cant hurt a thing)
Uh... Goddesss?
Then I see people and I... uhh.. want to shred them??? With my
claws???? Why do I want to watch horrable things now?
OK.. Goddess take all of me right now.... ALL ALL ALL!
I just learned to leave people alone with there ways. I feel it in
me. I dont really hate them now. I just let them go. But now thats
changed.
I hang on to trees now a lot. I dont surrender to this though. I
dont think that is what the plan is... Not at all. Nope.. I'll walk
around people instead of through them...
THIS IS NOT WHO I AM.......
So.. Is this something in my subconcious that is comming up?
Is this something to do with this time of year? Well I know it
is.. But what is it? This energy?
Does anyone else feel like this?
Is this just energy for me and my mind makes up the rest? I dont
feel that this stuff is "good" it's different. Its not "Bad" either..
Its more like borderline... At least is was....
This energy does change after a bit.. Towards Christmass I feel a
lot different again. Better. I LOVE Christmass time!! Just the time
of year..
As if I didnt already have problems enough.. I'm so confused.... Why
couldn't I just be a redneck and drive a muddy pickup truck??
...Maybe I'm a total fool though too. Cant rule anything out...
Surrender all
Surrender all
Surrender all
Surrender all
Thanks...
Sean ..the first one..
http://www.kundalini-gateway.org
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