To: K-list
Recieved: 2001/09/29 02:13
Subject: [K-list] Re: Fw: Need Help - Severe Kundalini
From: Divine Goddess
On 2001/09/29 02:13, Divine Goddess posted thus to the K-list:
My my dear Leslee,
Here it is, not quite 2:40am and I am drawn to my computer.
Is it you who has roused me from a deep sleep while I am feeling so
tired.? Do not worry...that happens often with me with people who
are awakening. People call me awake or call me to come visit and
comfort them in my spirit form when they are afraid and unsure. It's
one of those things that happens when a person grow in her kundalini
process. It is not only a guru trait. There is a family fellowship.
As soon as I look at this I will go answer your private post and if
you wish you can forward it to the list.
--- In Kundalini-GatewayATnospamy..., "L. J. Klinsky" <ljklinskyATnospame...> wrote:
> I couldn't sleep at all because I'm having severe energy rushes.
When> I first woke from my 20-minutes of fitful sleep, it felt like
all the> information in the universe was being downloaded into my
mind, way> faster than I could comprehend. I couldn't hold on to any
of the> information.
This happens to me still. I belong to a private little list of k
awakened women. They all seem to share this download experience
phenomenon and the word 'download' is exactly the term we use. My
downloading experiences are not as intense as they used to be but
they still happen. I empathize. I still get severe energy rushes too.
That has not changed. I don't get immediate access to the info but
past experience shows me that it bubbles up later at the least
expected times.
Take deep breaths....relax and breathe. Sometimes I would get energy
rushes so severe it would be days before I could fall sleep and yes,
Shakti did not slow them down even when I asked. Sometimes things
have to be taken on faith and surrender that there is a higher
purpose present even when I don't understand it.
>
> Thankfully, my cat let me hold him a while and that kind of helped
me> to ground. I dipped my hands in warm water, trying to release the
> intense excess energy. That seemed to help a little. I dumped the
bowl> of water onto a tree outside my window, and that felt good. I
still> had too much energy. I tried full, slow breathing, but I could
still> feel my heartbeat pounding in every cell of my body.
Yes...feeling your aliveness in every cell, molecule, and DNA is not
uncommon. Wait till you hear the heartbeats of the whole world.
>
> I asked Whoever's in Charge to please let me sleep, please limit the
> energy, or please, tell me what s/he wanted me to do. Nothing came
to> me, so here I am, checking for answers to my posts.
Hello Leslee :D Big warm hug with much hot chocolate and big smiles.
>
> Today I was in a state of complete bliss, feeling on top of the
world,> like I mattered, like my purpose was close at hand. I was
smiling,> happy, getting along with everyone... Yoga and Pranayama
felt great,> too. I was getting positive answers from this wonderful
group here...> I felt complete body bliss and couldn't see anything
wrong with> feeling that good--Nirvana, I guess it was...
There is nothing wrong with feeling good. If you are feeling wrong
about feeling good that may be why you are up tonight...clearing that
belief. We are hardwired to feel good. :)))))
>
> Then, I read the below message, and now I'm getting scared again. I
> really hope, Sean, that you won't mind me sharing your e-mail
> response, but I need to get as much information as I can as soon as
I> can. I certainly don't need to be frightened along with everything
> else that's happening to me. And I certainly don't need to feel like
> I'm going insane or something worse.
I think Sean makes some good points. We don't remember what it is
like to be babies although we can remember what is was like to go
thru puberty. Puberty was way more painful for me than the k birth
process ever was. The Shaktipat Master who initiated me remembers
being an infant and being so furious cause his body did not work like
it used to. "My hand, my hand! Why won't it do what it is suppose to
do? Why am I in such a little body?"
If you do persist in using Yoga I think it would be important to find
a Yoga Master who is experienced in the k process. It *is* like
throwing kerosene on fire. The kundalini process is normal and
evolutionary. There is just not a lot of people who are out there
that are experienced in surrendering to it. We grow whether we like
it or not. Just like babies. The only thing that prevents babies from
growing (besides the usual basic necessities) is love. Babies die
from not being loved. Be assured that you are loved so you are not
going to die although you may feel like it from your fear.
>
> I don't know any gurus around here who are K masters, and I can't
> afford to go anywhere to find one. I would think that if Whoever's
in> Charge wanted me to evolve, then s/he would not destroy me in the
> process just because I'm doing some yoga and meditation (which is
> supposed to be good for the soul). The below message seems to
indicate> that I could be doomed to insanity if I keep going like I
am...
The nice thing about k ascent is that distance becomes a non issue.
You can be taught in the realm of the spirit. I have had guru\saint
types visit me in my sleep and in my 'fits' (for lack of a better
word) during being awake. Many nights I did not sleep while work was
done on my body by non physical entities. Call it angels, call it
Masters, call it guides but, no, I did not sleep. Sometimes I didn't
even know whether I was awake or asleep or in between. What I did
know, for a solid fact, that I was in the midst of beneficial process
for ME!
Why is this happening to you in this form? How come you are not
having nice quiet epiphanies on a schedule? Since when does god/dess
conform to a human schedule? I dunno. For me I rationalize it because
I am such a doubting Thomas. I gotta have the dramatic stuff happen
because for some reason something about me needs proof that this is
really happening.
I changed my mind. I am going back to bed. I can barely keep my eyes
open to type.
>
> Please, all, I pray for honest feedback as soon as possible. Do you
> all think I should quit doing yoga and meditation? They're the only
> authentic things going in my life right now...
If you are questioning it's validity right now maybe there is
something else authentic you can do. :D
Relax dear one. Goddess has it handled.
Love and deep understanding,
Susan
PS. My awakening was a volcanic,fiery one. Throwing meat on the fire
from time to time gave it something else to burn besides my 3d meat
suit. She's a hungry goddess....:D
>
> Bless you all,
>
> Leslee
>
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