To: K-list
Recieved: 2001/09/28 06:23
Subject: Re: [K-list] Need Help - Severe Kundalini
From: Jb789
On 2001/09/28 06:23, Jb789 posted thus to the K-list:
Hi,
For some similarity to your experience, I could recommend what
J. Krishnamurti has written about what he calls 'the process', in his
book entitled "Krishnamurti's Notebook".
I doubt you'll find any ready made prescriptions on "How to" get rid
of the pain, but you might find some resonating answers, between the
lines.
Regards,
JB
-------------
--- In Kundalini-GatewayATnospamy..., "L. J. Klinsky" <ljklinskyATnospame...> wrote:
> Wow... Thank you Serena. I think you're right... I found the right
> place, gratefully. I've been thinking that I'm going absolutely
> stark-raving mad. If it weren't for the books I came across with
> descriptions of this, I don't know what I would've done.
>
> > At times I've had to do the corpse pose after every pose, and
really
> > slow down the pace of my practice. Such energy reminds me that
> > yoga isn't just a kind of exercise, but a really powerful way
> > of meditating with and in the body.
>
> I'm wondering about the pranyama exercises I'm doing, Kapalibahti
and
> Analoma Viloma. These seem to take me elsewhere. I'm not sure if
this
> is good or bad. I have really slowed down my yoga routine, to the
> point where I'll relax 20 minutes before doing another pose. If it
> will help me get through this process quicker, I'm willing
to "suffer"
> some now. Does that make sense? I really would like to normalize
into
> whatever I'm becoming as soon as possible because this is scary.
>
> > I have gotten intensely averse to doing poses at times
> > (and when I pushed on anyway, I regretted it horribly
> > as it brought mood swings, inability to focus,
> > irritability and physical pain). I think an
> > aversion to any particular pose or kind of practice is an
> > important message.
> >
> > I have had so many yoga teachers say
> > "the practice you don't want to do, is the one you really NEED to
> do."
> >
> > :-PPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP
>
> I don't know, Serena. I'm tending to think that the poses that scare
> me the most are the ones that have the most to teach me. When I feel
> out of control or weirdness during a yoga session, I stop the pose
I'm
> doing and take a hot bath to "chill out." Thankfully I have time for
> this at the present time. Then, after a while I dry myself off and
> resume. So far this has helped me more than I can say. Nothing in me
> seems to be saying that doing my yoga will be bad for me, but I'm
not
> totally in touch with myself so I'm not always sure what my body is
> trying to say. When it gets to the point where something says STOP,
I
> will definitely stop.
>
> > They just don't know what it is like to
> > be running the max energy you can tolerate plus some already.
> > Why do practices that will raise more energy when I've already
> > got all I can handle?
>
> This makes sense, but if I don't do my yoga, my body is stiff and
> hurts all over. I get a kind of peace along with the intense energy,
> if this makes sense.
>
> > Wow, if we could blend your left leg with my right one, we'd have
> one
> > normal leg. When something blocks my energy flow, it seems
> > to back up down my right leg and it is jumpy electrical fire.
>
> Wow... I've felt that jumpy electrical feeling at times...
>
> > I used to do long corpse pose meditations
> > (45min-1 hour) that were about practicing death
> > (don't ask me exactly why I needed to do this), and my
> > body would get stiff and cold all over, particularly my
extremities.
> > My Higher Self told me this was part of the experience.
>
> It's interesting that you say the above. I've been feeling like I'm
> dying, like I'm going to become someone else. This is scarier than
any
> other feeling. My body has been getting extremely cold and stiff as
a
> board, just like you say. One doctor diagnosed me with Fibromyalgia
> when he didn't even really check me over very well. My symptoms
don't
> match any book on that subject that I've read, as well. I've got a
> second-opinion appointment scheduled with another rheumatologist but
> I'm tending to think this is not a conventional medical problem.
Some
> have suggested peripheral neuropathy and schitzophrenia for such
> symptoms. I am so grateful I found this group...
>
> > I am assuming there is nothing about your meditational posture
> > itself that causes this numbness... maybe I shouldn't assume.
> > Sitting with anything pressing into
> > the area where the leg joins my ass in back causes the kind
> > of coldness and numbness you described. A meditation cushion
> > used while meditating in any cross-legged sitting position
> > can easily block enough nerve/blood flow to shut down the
> > leg on one side.
>
> I understand what you're saying about blood flow, and you make great
> points. I just want to understand a little more. I do sit on a
> comfortable meditation cushion, one that takes the pressure off my
> legs (a V-shaped cushion). I don't sit in Lotus, just simple
> cross-legged pose without pressure. If I feel uncomfortable at the
> beginning of a meditation, I readjust immediately, but normally the
> paralysis begins pretty far into the meditation. As a test, I
reversed
> my legs so that the left one was on top (normally I put the right
one
> on top). The same thing happened--left leg paralysis. This flipped
me
> out.
>
> > I have experienced this, but not often. Getting conscious rest
> > was important for me. If I couldn't sleep, I could rest the body
> > and practice acceptance of the energy surges... notice them
> > and accept them. Letting go of sleep as the goal helped.
> > Instead, I worked on rest. The corpse poses was/is good training.
>
> SUPERB POINT. I've been forgetting to accept things and letting go
of
> sleep as a goal. Instead I've been panicking. Great reminder. Thank
> you!!!!
>
> > I suffer the most from these symptoms when I am trying to
> > force myself to do something I probably shouldn't be doing...
> > when I spend time with people when I crave solitude,
> > when I run around when I crave slowness/stillness, when I try
> > to read/write/do something "productive" when I crave
> > "nonproductivity" and simple animal-level pleasures.
> > Learning not to fight what I really need and want has been
> > really important for me.
>
> Another extremely valid point. I am trying to learn what I REALLY
need
> and want. This is not always easy.
>
> > I often take a pen and blank sheet of paper to hand and write down
> > whatever words come to me. I don't judge, criticize or argue
> > with whatever words come; I simply
> > record. This is where I get my guidance and my answers.
> ...
> > Listening is perhaps more productive than praying/petitioning;
> > so often my Higher Self has had to shout me down
> > or more commonly wait me out, just to give me the
> > insight I'm crying for...
>
> I will try everything you suggest here, pen/paper and a whole lot
more
> listening. Thank you so much. You've helped more than you could ever
> know. Sincerely,
>
> Leslee
> >
> > Serena
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