To: K-list
Recieved: 2001/09/01 19:19
Subject: [K-list] (no subject)
From: Cleocatras
On 2001/09/01 19:19, Cleocatras posted thus to the K-list:
In a message dated 9/1/01 6:24:06 PM Eastern Daylight Time,
K-list writes:
>
> I will try my best to squeeze in as much meditation.
> Sometimes I just cant control my anxiety though and I end
> up binging or something like that. At least I've stopped
> smoking and drinking. I have a question if you know it, do
> you know if I can just start meditating if my stomach is
> full? Also, are u referring to sitting meditation or also
> mantra meditation while the body is in activity as well..?
> thank you for your words, i really appreciate this
> everyone.> love, light, peace,> maria
Maria,
What might be good for me might not be good for you. It depends where you are
and where you are "stuck" and where Goddess is pushing to get you past your
"stuck"ness. Yesterday, I had a supervisor screaming at me over a simple
reasonable question and calling me a liar in front of my coworkers. IT was so
bad, that several other people near my workstation were traumatized and one
was in tears in fear. A few others went home. Some asked me if I was drunk or
something that I was able to endure that kind of mistreatment. It was pure
abuse.
Interestingly, I am a Voc Rehab client because I have been diagnosed with
Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and my key trauma is mental and physical abuse
from a male of authority. I had all the symptoms of this disorder since age
15 until two years ago when I began to meditate. I also had some panic
disorder symptoms and generalized anxiety. As you can see, the event
yesterday indicates quite the opposite. In fact, my only concern was the
emotional welfare of those around me that had to witness it.
Part of meditation is to remove oneself from the illusion of the world and go
inside the energy of oneself to seek the truth. The truth of the matter is
that none of these things around your physical body really exist unless you
respond to them and acknowledge them and give them energy. I was emotionally
detached during the entire episode by default, as I am living inside my
spiritual self instead of the unreal world around me. Naropa the Tibetan
Buddhist who clarified the Tummo Heat concept said it perfectly. When Tilopa
his Master Teacher told him to jump into the fire he did without hesitation,
and Tilopa asked: "What has happened to you?" And Naropa responded: "My body
is burnt and damaged and my mind is suffering."
Our bodies and our brains do not suffer, it is only our mind which
extrapolates suffering. Suffering is a determination and a learned behavior
attached to environmental experiences, attached to Ego's clinging and claim
to the worldly experiences as being real -- and only Ego's fear of death and
mortality as a result of this "clinging" does fear and suffering have
anything to which to attach.
Our mind can go anywhere and do anything. It can manifest the unreal, the
paranormal, the miracle. All it takes is mindfulness and clear visualization
and it will be so. I could just as easily walk over hot coals and look at my
feet and see blisters, yet until my neurotransmitters of the brain are
acknowledged, there is no pain. I do not have to give energy to that
conveyance. The same applies to anxiety, panic and fear. Fear is a ball of
energy in my hand. I do not have to "feel" it unless I choose to. I can exist
in the 5 minutes before the incident occurred or I can exist in the ceiling
tiles when event occurs, or I can exist in the micro seconds between each
word instead of the ego context of what is being conveyed. These three
examples are also progressive meditations, lower to higher consciousness. The
even higher step is NonDuality, understanding that the yelling supervisor is
Me as much as the recipient is Me, and therefore no suffering is involved
since I am only physically in a motion against myself. The ultimate
impartiality...
I used to practice meditating at streetlights, while shopping at the grocery
whenever I went back to pushing the cart in between picking things from the
shelf, I would meditate when I was in the shower, washing my car, and doing
other physical mondain things, especially mowing the grass...
Now I am reading scripts of surveys, taking down answers, and the scripts
have become very familiar to me... now I am meditating between the pause
between each word separation and at the ends of the phrases. I can make those
moments feel like an hour if I chose to now... I think this is the secret of
chanting and mantras, if I am not mistaken, and eventually, natural
meditative state in between each wave of vibration of each sound wave...
truly in the moment.
Anxiety is only a cognitive moment of deciding how something connects to your
mortality. Once one truly understands their immortality there is nothing to
fear and no anxiety. The lower meditation is to remove self from those
moments and live in the proceeding moments on a .10 reverberation... this
makes you the observer observing the observed as Krishnamirdi would say...
Cleocatra
http://www.kundalini-gateway.org
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